Sunday, January 10, 2010
STFU about NIP
3:24 PM
(NIP=Nursing in public. I'll let you figure out what STFU means on your own)
I don't get to tell this guy that he's grossing me out and needs to go home
I don't get to tell this guy that he's grossing me out and needs to go home
I think his butt is hungry.
I don't get to tell this lady that the sight of her could scar my children for life.
If she bends over... I don't think I'm ready for that jelly.
I don't get to tell this piece of work that he's showing too much skin.
"I've had this shirt since I was 14 and it still fits!"
I have to see T&A galore on girls walking down the street, TV, magazines, movies, online, EVERYWHERE. I don't get to toss a blanket over any of them.
Now THAT is a lot of boobage. Did someone use her cleavage as a napkin? Mmmm... greasy!
She may be at the beach here, but we've all seen Britt's butt, beaver, and more in every other public place. Heaven help us.
I may not be able to ask these folks to you know, wear clothes that fit, and I may not be able to bleach my eyes... but I do, however, have the ability to avert my eyes and go on with my life.
There are people EVERYWHERE to whom I would love to say "Please go home, for the love of Pete, you don't belong in public". But I don't have the right, and neither do you. Why can we tolerate several square feet of *whatever* hanging out, but piss ourselves over a centimeter of lactating boob? If I can tolerate standing in line behind the guy that smells like an ashtray, or walking by miss nasty thong & muffin top, or eating near smelly unshowered dude a few tables down, you can sure as hell just STFU about this:
(Thanks to Olesja for use of this pic!)
Babies have the right to eat, moms have the right to meet that need. You have the right to remain silent!
Of all the things there are to bitch about in the world, breastfeeding in public is not one of them. If you're afraid of your child seeing something "disgusting", then I suggest you lock them in your basement forever. They are going to see a LOT more skin on the cover of Seventeen Magazine then they are going to see on a breastfeeding mom. And if you think breastfeeding is "disgusting" in the first place, then you're too screwed up to even be allowed in public anyway, and I certainly hope you never breed!
Just because breasts are sometimes used in a sexual way, does not mean that the simple act of feeding a baby with them is gross or disgusting. Your mouth can also be used in a sexual way, but you still flap it freely in public.
Don't EVER try to tell a mother that she has to feed her baby in a bathroom, that's disgusting. It's quite possible that your prominently displayed asscrack, your breath, or your ignorance may offend me, but I don't get to order you into a bathroom stall over it (or your car, or your home, whatever).
As for those who ask "why can't you just pump into a bottle and use that in public?" or "why don't you feed your baby before you go out?".
Ugh, I guess I will point out what should be obvious... First of all, not all moms are able to pump adequate amounts of milk. Nor should they HAVE to. Pumps are expensive, pumping can be difficult or impossible, and it takes a lot more time than nursing does. Second, using a bottle can ruin some babies ability to breastfeed by causing nipple confusion. Third, babies aren't robots. Even if a mom feeds her child before going out, its still quite possible the baby will get hungry again at some point. Lastly, does it REALLY matter anyway?! Are you that perverted that you get hung up on a baby eating? Therapy, my friend, pronto!
If you STILL have a problem with a mother nursing her child, feel free to make good use of your neck and turn your head another direction.
PS: I do not have a problem with overweight people (I'm married to one, so get off it). The photo examples are chosen because of the manner in which these people present themselves. I have just as much a problem with Brittney Spears' ass hanging out as I do with random guy's gut hanging out, hence why I referenced them BOTH. That being said, I don't actually give a flying flip, the point is that other people DO. They can walk by all kinds of "obscene" displays of the human body without a second thought, but practically crap themselves over a nursing mom.
OMG, PORNOGRAPHIC,*GASP*!
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140 comments:
I have only just found your blog. I love the way you say what needs to be said. :)
oh that is so true! I love this post :)
lawl! <3 it. People are demented thinking my breasts are for their visual gratification and not for the nourishment of my child!
First off, let me say that I have been reading your blog posts and loving them and agreeing with you at every turn.
Second, this post made me laugh my damn face off, especially your captions. Thanks!
Damn them all to the bathroom stall! hahhaa
I <3 you.
Thumbs up on this post! I love nursing in public and NO I won't cover up! :-)
LOL RACH! ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL You are over the top and I LOVE IT!
Better than the article itself- nursing babies can spot nursing babies anywhere- including a picture.
My 15 month old nursling stopped dead in her tracks to look at the nursing photos.. `
Go mamas! This is the 1st time i've read you, and you're great!
Excellent post! People who object to breastfeeding in public, and somehow defend a parent's "right" to cut their newborn's genitalia are both in the same category. Their ignorance makes us a backward nation - we need to break the cycle and move forward. Thanks for helping to educate others with your hard-hitting style.
girl, don't hush yo mouth!!!!
I think it's always good to bring a blanket with you when breastfeeding in public. You can loan it to people so they can cover their faces and wait in the public bathroom until you're done.
:) Lookit all those gorgeous nursing mamas and those happy babes.
NIP rocks! As do you my friend. :)
I love your post!
beautiful! Had to share on my fb account.
Thanks for writing this! This is a hot topic for me too - I just wrote about it on my blog http://gabethebabe-stille.blogspot.com/2010/01/i.html
I loved this! As a new mom (again, 5 times over) and establishing a nursing relationship with a new baby this issue is one that I'm very aware of personally again. I keep meaning to post something about it on my blog but for now I think I'll just link to your post. You said everything so perfectly! Made me laugh, thanks!
For over a hundred breastfeeding photos Facebook has banned as obscene and pornographic, please go to:
http://www.tera.ca/photos6.html
and successive pages . . .
And thanks to Woman, Uncensored, for a riotous condemnation of fools!
Rachele, you are all kinds of awesome for refusing to suffer fools in the manner you do.
Keep it up! :)
This is fantastic!!
Well said, love it!
Awesome post! I had to chuckle at the Google Ad at the end of the blog- it was for Earth's Best Baby Formula...
As a fellow NIP Mom, Thank You! I exclusively nurse until at least 12mos and I am tired of all the negative comments as well.
I also just found this blog this morning (thanks Lesley!) and it is sooo funny and sooo true, some neanderthals need to start living in modern times and not in the dark ages!! I often NIP on the bus or wherever if my LO wants it, much to some peoples chagrin, but whatever!! Thanks for keeping it real, lol!
THANK YOU!.
Excellent post, i have been asked on more than one occasion to feed in a toilet infact the last time it happened they kindly put us in a disabled toilet on a chair next to the toilet :(
it has put me off feeding in public and restricted me to the house, brilliant post and so so true xx
I found a link to this post on BubHub (aussie) and love it so much. I dont know what the laws are like in the US, but it's illegal to tell a mother who is NIP to stop or move, etc. in AUS. I love to remind people of that small fact, that yes, they are the one acting inappropriatley! Love the mummy pics too, so gorgeous, and what skin is there?!
Fantastic! As a "fluffy" woman, whos breasts went froma s size C to a Double F. I had a LOT of boob to try to manuver & not smother my baby & still feed her at the same time.
On top of it, I also have Fibromyalgia & spinal injuries.
We preservered & offended many, I am sure, but my daughter is soon to be 4 years old & I even have a picture of me nursing her in the Vatican Museum, in Rome.
How about them apples?! hahahaha
be well.
Awesome.
@deliciouspear, LOL!
Love this post. I have been NIP since a week after my baby was born and have yet to encounter any jerky comments. I think most people don't even notice.
Awesome!!! I am going to link to this.
Amen, sister!
(proud bf mom of 4, currently bf'ing my 18 month old!)
Round of applause! If only this could be published on billboards and in magazines.
If only the neaderthals who object had the ability to read sentences.
Amazing! Love it!
Right On Sister!
Thank you for being a very honest voice for nursing mothers of America. I've heard people from other countries say, "Nah, go ahead and nurse your baby! We're not prudes like Americans". Seriously, it is acceptable everywhere BUT here... why?
Anyway, I like your guts and you've encouraged me to have even more. Thank you!
Hell Yeah, woman!
WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!
I love it!
-Cathy
This is quite possibly THE BEST post about nursing in public I have ever read. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!
I am applauding this!
Thank you from my baby who hates blankets which make him sweat while he tried to eat.
Fabulous. Thanks for explaining it better than I ever could.
i found a link to this post on Facebook... I agree. I also think a big part of this that people do not understand is that nursing a baby at the breast is the best and most natural way, and some women make the choice to feed their babies this way all the time. It is not just the inconvenience of pumping or that it may not be possible for some women to pump as much, but for me, I think that nursing at the breast is the very best way. Most people think it is about the milk itself and the feeding, but they do not understand the bonding, the naturalness of the closeness and physical human contact that is so important to normal development of this very new-to-the-world human being! I wish more people would understand that it is not just about the milk... then they may understand the difference between previously removed milk in a plastic bottle and the act of nursing a baby. it is not a science, it is nature!
I blogged about NIP myself back in November: http://mommyerin.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-do-i_15.html
:-)
Thank you!
/love I've been making this point(loudly) for a long time. :)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I nurse anywhere and everywhere. And my children are required to nurse until at least 12 mo. :-) (no complaints so far about that policy, and we're on #3). NIP so others feel free to do so!
I loved this post! I feel the same way =)
A-FREAKING-men lady!!!!!!!!!!!! You are awesome. Well said.
I'm only speaking about the Beyonce photo in this blog because that is how most people ever actually see breasts in public. I've been trying to understand the disgust with nip because it is utterly baffling to me how it could bother someone. It's not like mums and babies are plopping down on their laps to feed and causing an actual inconvenience. You know, it just occurred to me in looking at the photo of Beyonce here. Her breasts are the power of a woman. She is utterly female and the photo shows that only a woman has breasts. Yet, for most people, they take their reactions to this demonstration of feminine power and dehumanize and objectify in order to take it away. In other words, "those breasts belong to me as dominant." Once you view breasts in that way, of course you are going to take ownership of their function and try to control them. Breastfeeding takes away that perceived control. Therefore it must be banished: tolerated only in the bathroom, home or under a blanket. It's going to take a lot of normalization to cause people to question generations of socialization to belittle any power associated with women in favor of plain commonsense and tolerance of other people. (And I've nak'd this entire entry. So, I'm not proofing as prolactin & sore typing finger are overruling) Now, back to contemplating my two nurslings...
Oh, and is it just me or funny that my "word verification" to post this is "gawk"? lol
Perfectly said! I couldn't agree more, and if you don't mind I think I will share this blog post with others!
Keep up the good work Mama!
you rock. i am so posting this on my FB
Couldn't be more plainly and better said!
You are my hero.
I'm a nursing mom of 2 kids, nursing over 6 years straight. Nurse anywhere and everywhere and support NIP to the fullest extent. Consider myself a lactivist. But, am I the only one that found some of this blog a little offensive? I normally love this blog.. but it seemed a little like it was ridiculing people with a weight problem. Saying they are unfit for public sight. They have just as much of a right to be in public as I do nursing my children. In fact, as a woman with PCOS,which makes it hard for my body to lose and keep weight off, I am probably about the size of the woman in the second pic.. and reading that seeing her could scar your children for life, well, that's more than a little hurtful. Don't forget, lots of nursing moms are plus-size women. Just my $.02. I normally share your blogs on my own wall, but this is one I am opting not to.. because of the attitude towards overweight people. :/
Did you notice this story that's being kicked around in stories about the "hidden" breastfeeding room clause in the health reform bill.
http://www.newschannel6now.com/Global/story.asp?S=12331618
"in a bathroom at Nordstrom" [...] "one woman told the new mother to cover up or turn the other way."
------
Yeah apparently you can't even nurse IN THE BATHROOM.
And this from the UK is even WORSE. Ever read the warnings on air freshner....
http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/news10733.html
" hungry baby daughter began to cry in the changing room of a charity shop" [...] the manager peered through the curtains – and then sprayed air freshener while loudly declaring: ‘Your breast milk stinks.’
love this post. love it love it love it
ooo hoo!
Years ago when I was 'pioneering' folks rediscovering breastfeeding (La Leche League mom in the 70s; & I'm Angie of 'angelbums' mo-in law :) a group of us nursed our (gasp) toddlers.
One day, someone on campus (gasp) caught a glimpse of someone nursing their "OLDER" baby (maybe 1 1/2 - 2 years old) & wrote a NASTY piece in the student newspaper.
Meanwhile, we were all calling each other 'was it YOU??" 'no - I thought maybe it was YOU' 'Maybe it was Nancy?' "No, I already asked her . . ."
. . . we never did find out WHO had the audacity to nurse their child at some public event at the college - no one mentioned the baby CRYING, which would have disturbed a lot more people, I'm just betting!
kudos on a great piece (& I want the folks in those first photos to go Gluten Free!!)
Amen to that! Similar post here: http://mamamojo.wordpress.com/?s=breastfeeding+in+public
Lol...I had to enter the captcha code thing to post this to FB. I got "voyeurs pro". Lol...
fabulous post.. simple fabulous!
I. Love. You!!!!!!
Only just found your blog, but I am already a fan! Write on!
thumbs UP sister!
Sorry, I'm with Jami on this one. I get your point- that breastfeeding exposes less skin than is considered 'acceptable' in other situations.
But as someone who was borderline anorexic in high school and now carries over a hundred extra pounds on her thanks to complications of HG this post was very hurtful. My loved ones spend a great deal of time trying to convince me that no one thinks that I'm ACTUALLY unworthy of being seen in public because of my size (which is, admittedly, not as large as some people, but still the largest I've EVER been, including at just shy of e42 weeks pregnant)... and then I see this post... from someone who HAS had HG, no less! Or did you not know that one of the more common longterm affects of malnutrition during pregnancy is a drastic reduction in metabolism, combined with a reduced ability to filter toxins from the bloodstream (my kidneys and liver were permanently damaged by HG, and when that happens the body 'hides' the toxins it can't out in fat cells), which often results in a ballooning of weight.
I'm shocked and horrified and humiliated at your attitude towards the overweight people who's images you used.
The Beyonce shot, and even the ones of Britney are a very different message than you're cruel mocking of the people in the other pictures. One is 'why are breasts/female bodies only acceptably displayed when hyper-sexualized?' and the other is 'eww gross, if THESE people are allowed in public, why isn't nursing?' One is helpful and true, while the other is cruel and petty. Do you see the difference?
This is so hilarious! I LOOOOOVE it!
Usually the only thing that bothers me about NIP is when I have to hike my shirt up and my ugly wrinkly belly shows, but after seeing those other people...
my stomach isn't that bad so maybe I shouldn't worry. lol
OMG I LOVE YOU!
And to the people bitching about the overweight people's pictures, she is NOT making fun of their weight, but how they are DRESSED.. I dont' want to see ass on an obese person, and I don't want to see ass on a scrawny person when I go out in public!
I was just having this argument with a male friend, and he mentioned that his wife always found a way to their car. Well, sure, if that's her choice, but somehow I feel that it was more HIS attitude about it than her desire to nurse in the car that drove her there. Makes me angry. People always act like the woman is doing a striptease before nursing when the only time I've ever just "plopped" it out was at home. I totally agree 100%.
the shunning of breastfeeding moms isn't funny, but i have to say i laughed till i cried reading this blog. thanks for sharing.
Oh for crying out loud. Those of you whining about being overweight need to stop. This isn't about YOU. It isn't even about the fact that those first few pics are of people who are overweight. You've completely missed the point. It's the fact they have so much SKIN showing. And yes, it's a shame we can't ask them to cover that crap up. No one should have to look at that much skin on ANY person, obese or thin, in a public setting. The point is that the mothers shown nursing their children in public show far less (IF ANY) skin at all... and yet these other people are allowed to walk around dressed like that without being badgered.
I'm overweight. I have been all of my adult life. I wouldn't dream of walking around in some skimpy outfit like some of the photos I've seen. Know your limits, stay within them... and leave nursing mothers alone.
You're my hero.. I have stood up for nursing moms since I can remember. I get the weirdest looks, the whispers..the pointing. Our 17 month old son is still nursing like a champ, and we do have occasions where we NIP. Obviously not as often as when he was small.. but it does happen. I feel like the gawking happens more now that he is bigger. I don't understand what the problem is. I am willing to bet if I let him scream (he's a screamer!) they'd say I'm a terrible parent.. and I would be if I let him scream and scream.
One word for this blog: Awesome!!
You're so right! I'm not a mum myself but I totally support you girls! Breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing, no mother should be prevented from feeding her baby whenever or where-ever it is necessary!
Really, I am so sorry for you girls in the US who are still fighting this fight. To other US peoples....time to grow up! Truly, its a no-brainer, get over it.
Perfect!!! You just said everything I've been wanting to say but didn't know how. Keep it up!!
I'm a mother of two and breastfed both my children In public... who cares what other people think.. I get the point your trying to make.. but I don't think you targeting obese people as being gross is fair... They have just a hard as of a time.. and people do make comments
<-Hefty chick here. I didn't see the initial photos as a dig on weight, as much as exposure. People complain about seeing a whiff of areola when a kid lets go...(wow, you were really looking that closely? Perv!) but the one photo shows a pair of pants up someone's ass crack. That's MUCH more suggestive than a milky tit. The others are clearly showing SKIN exposure. I had a friend that was super skinny. She got a size 0 prom dress, then had it taken in. She used to wear tube tops for shirts AND skirts. I had to stop being her friend b/c we were attracting the wrong kind of attention when we went out. It made me uncomfortable, and even my brothers asked if I could stop bringing her to the house. Yep..even teenage boys were uncomfortable with her exposure.
wonderful blog
AWESOME!!! Love the way you get right to the point & i agree totally with the whole piece! thank you for standing up for the rights of mothers and babies :)
AWESOME!!!!!!! :)
My view on NIP is generally met with disdain by other nursing moms because, as a breastfeeding mother I chose to nurse in private. For me it was an intimate time between my babies and me. (I am a mother of triplets)I do not have an issue with with women who choose to nurse publicly but there is a vast difference in the way different women choose to feed their babies in public. The nursing photos on this site are certainly discreet and I think very appropriate for a public place. However, many of my breastfeeding friends choose to be very overt about NIP and it seems that they welcome the stares and challenge anyone to comment. These are the mothers who expose their entire breast and make a great show of taking it out and then putting it away. A woman at a meeting I recently attended took out her second breast to switch baby BEFORE putting the other away! To me this is just begging people to look and daring them to be offended. It gives bad press to all nursing mothers and is, dare I say it, offensive to me. I am equally, if not more so, offended at those who show excessive skin in their too small attire and sexually overt outfits. I think whether nursing in public is offensive or not sometimes depends on the mother and how she presents herself. Is she a mother giving her child nourishment or is she using NIP to attract attention and put herself on display? Either way, I would not support the infringement of her rights in any way. Equitably, I will not look down on any mother who chooses bottle feeding for her child and treat her badly as I was by breastfeeding mothers when I switched my triplets to bottles. Mommies, let's keep feeding our babies and support each others' choices.
It was SO obviously not about the weight and about the disgusting skin exposure. But hey way to completely and totally miss the point.
Twenty three years ago I stopped at a truck stop for breakfast in a small mid New Zealand town. When I asked if I could feed my daughter they asked me to sit facing a wall, so that any truck drivers that came in wouldn't be tempted to ogle and stare and make me or the baby uncomfortable.
One month ago she gave birth to Tristan Superbaby and I am just praying that I am with her when some-one tries to hassle her about her right to feed whenever and wherever the superbaby needs it. It's a battle that she will win.
All you super mamas that feed despite the garbage - you're the reason that this world has hope. Keep it up and stay strong
Bravo! I live in NZ and have never had any issues with breastfeeding in public. However I am discreet about it, just as I wish people would be about exposing other body parts, as highlighted in this post.
Wonderful blog post! While I personally do not feel too comfortable nursing in public and still choose to do it in private as much as possible (and mostly because my 10mo. old is way too distracted now), I still completely support NIP!! It's every woman's right to choose what works best for her and her baby. I'm sure my insecurities with NIP is unfortunately a product of society's double standards, but hopefully I'll be past that a bit more next time around...posts like this certainly help :)
Good for you! I couldn't agree more. I'm a nursing mom and if my daughter wants to eat, she will.
I'm an overweight new mom. I have nursed my baby in public but chose to use a blanket ONLY because I chose to do so. I feel more comfortable now but not once was I negatively approached because I was breastfeeding my baby in public. When people see me, they obviously see I am overweight but I don't care what they say or think. However, I do care if they would criticize me on the way I chose to feed my baby.
What great site, thank you for speaking out
That. Was. Awesome. I think I've found my new favorite person in the whole world.
I'm afraid I go one step farther and say that women need to be seen breastfeeding in public. It needs to be such a common site than no one even looks twice... teenaged girls need the example in front of them as it is a learned skill, and not as easy as it looks. Breast is best and we need to feed our children nutritious delicious food from the start. Lets stop giving breastmilk lip service and nurse in public. The public NEEDS to get over it.
I am a mother and have been nursing my daughter for over two years, and of course I agree that nursing in public is fine, and that breastfeeding needs to be destigmatized, and that we need more social support networks for women who want to breastfeed, etc.
But this post really grosses me out and is extremely offensive, classist, and decidedly unfeminist. Basically you're saying "You think nursing in public is offensive? Being fat is offensive and DISGUSTING. PUT YOUR GROSS FLESH AWAY, FAT PEOPLE! Let the pretty skinny white ladies nurse their babies in peace!"
Just FYI -- people of all colors and sizes and shapes nurse their children in public. If the woman in the red dress were nursing her baby in the checkout line, would it TRAUMATIZE YOUR CHILDREN? You do a disservice to the breastfeeding movement by writing this trash.
I love this and the way that you put it!! There really is more important things in life to complain and moan about .... child abuse - hunger ect ....
I was nursing my first baby about 30 years ago, and nursed my youngest(who is now 12)until 10 years ago. And I nursed in public when my babies got hungry. When people would ask me to go nurse in a bathroom, I would ask them if they would like to grab some lunch and join me there- if my baby was expected to eat in a filthy bathroom, why couldn't they?
That being said, it's WAY past time for America to get over the puritan "values" that somehow try to make the most natural of ways to feed a baby seem obscene. Men show thier nipples in public ALL the time, and as far as I'm concerned, there is no difference, except sometimes thiers are hairier(and I've seen some bigger than mine, too).
For those taking personal offense at the pictures of obese people in skimpy clothing- get over it. I'm obese as well. And I would never be caught dead in public wearing anything that showed as much skin as the people in those pics. And I agree- MY children(who have not only seen me naked, but watched me giving birth to thier younger siblings) would be traumatized if the woman in that nasty red dress were to bend over.
But yes, people who gawk and make ruse comments about NIP are only expressing that they were paying attention- gawking at the sight of a bare female breast. I think THAT is what makes them uncomfortable- thier own inability to admit they found it tittilating(pun intended). I said that to one person who commented on my nursing my child once- she turned away red faced and stomped off.
But, as you point out- a lot more is shown on magazine covers and in music videos,now. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than a baby nursing.But to others, it seems to be the greatest sin imaginable. I feel sorry for thier own children- being brought up in the 21st century by Victorian parents.
Keep up the good work, and stay uncensored.
I think a mother feeding her child is beautiful. It's such a bonding experience. My son was 2 month premature and breast feeding was very difficult. I would have loved to have that bond that closeness. I could give a rats ass what others think or feel. If you don't like it STOP LOOKING!!!!
Love!
Wow. How offensive. Just like I thought it was fine to publicly nurse until my son was 4, I think it is fine to be large sized and show skin. Shaming large folks for showing their skin comes from the same low level of thinking people use when they say we are 'gross' and they need to 'bleach their eyes out' when they briefly see our nipples when our babies unlatch. It is absolutely not true to say the comments are just because skin is being shown. It's about some creepy perception that imperfect bodies must be covered up. This blog is not at all funny. We can support the rights of nursing moms and babies without ripping other people apart and supporting a culture that tells people they are never attractive enough. Not into it.
YES YES YES!!! I am, continually, amazed, shocked, etc. that anyone ever fusses about nursing babies! WHA??? Does not compute. I think it shows a really messed up view of the human body.
Blessed with triplets...while I do see your point, and understand you...I have to say that just b/c it was maybe easier or more up your alley to nurse privately or discreetly, doesn't mean that it *can* be that way for all. I have HUGE boobies. I was in F & G bras while I nursed. Thats a lot to try and be discreet about. My boobs are bigger than my kids' head. Maybe that other mom you saw has an easier time switching that way b/c of her bra. After popping off the closures of TWO nursing bras (expensive!! nursing bras) I finally quit using them. I had some Lane Bryant Cacique bras that had soft stretch-cotton cups and a band that was elasticy like a sports bra. Depending on what else I was wearing, how I was sitting, which side the baby would nurse on...I either pulled up the bottom band and let my boob fall out (which I could easily do with one hand under my shirt) -or- I reached in, let my strap down, pulled my arm into my shirt to finish taking the strap off, and then lowered the cup so the baby could nurse. Putting things away was never easy. And b/c of the size of my boob, I often had to use one hand under my shirt to keep the boob in place (and from smashing the babyface) and the other to support the baby's head, while I used a leg to support the baby's body. This usually meant sitting crosslegged in my seat to make my body a tad more compact, or on occasion, simply bringing my foot up to my seat. My husband said it usually just looked like I was lounging back. I did try in the beginning to bring a boppy with me everywhere...but that was more obtrusisve & annoying b/c I had to store it someplace when I *wasn't* nursing. And unless I was scrunched, I had too much length in my torso. It sat on my lap...my baby sat up much higher under my boobies. I never flopped both tits to air them out...but I KNOW if people were looking hard enough...they could see what I was doing...and during that stage where the baby is more interested in EVERYTHING going on around them than nursing...they would pop their little heads up every few moments & I was left exposed. I got a few snide looks...but in about 27 combined months of nursing, I never got rude comments or requests to put the boobs away. And once b/c of the height of the table, my daughter was ON the table at Olive Garden during nursing.
you go girl! When I had my first child 16 1/2 years ago, I knew NOT ONE PERSON who bf. Luckily, I was young enough not to give a crap, and still had a "mouth on me" as my mother called my smart alleck self.
Brilliant! :) I have breastfed both my children and will feed them as when and where they need to be fed. If people don't like it they are well within their right to leave, surely a feeding baby is better and less irritating than a screaming one. Pip x
I am borderline obese and I loved this post! Of course, I'm also a big supporter of my right to NIP.
The pics of the heavier people don't bother me because I understand their intent. I am uncomfortable of my weight, so I don't wear ill-fitting clothes that expose too much! I also wear a cover when NIP b/c I don't want my jiggly belly hanging out (and b/c my son gets distracted easily), not because I have a problem with people seeing my baby breastfeeding.
When I see a BFing mom, I try to give her a smile so she knows I support her decision. Other than that, I don't give it a second thought.
Love it!
I love your blog. Love the way you argue the case!!
Just remember that you lose the right to gripe about being stared at if you decide to anything in public.
i am a 34 year old father of 3. all my were proudly breast feed (in public too)and i never had a problem with it in fact its as natural as
as natural can be....however i could not agree more with post #76.
cinisisim is just as self destructive as obesity
Its so disgusting that its ok for people to display things that are ONLY meant for their significant other in public and no one cares. Yet when a woman breastfeeds; a woman who is COMPLETELY covered up (showing no skin, no breast, etc) people freak. How backwards are we? I DARE someone to say something to me while I"m breastfeeding my new son...boy, they'd better be ready for a tongue lashing from both my husband and I !!!
I posted on someones Facebook, yesterday something similar to "I don't get to tell you that your face offends me, so you need to eat your cheeseburger on the shitter, so don't tell me my hungry baby can't be hungry & fed unless it's in the privacy of my home!!!" in response to the same topic.
Today a friend linked me here.. Well said!!
As a nursing mom for the last 4 years (tandem nursing) and an IBCLC in training, I have my own thoughts on NIP, believe me, nice to hear yours!
As much as I enjoyed reading the content of the blog, I just as much like reading the comments posted post blog, and agree and disagree with many of the comments.
Who are we to judge any individual's choices? I am pro breastfeeding, I am a supporter of letting a person be comfortable in themselves...what I see in a day does NOT effect how I sleep at night, how I maintain my relationships with my family, and friends, and really "does it matter"?
Thank you for opening up the topic and thank you for the insightful comments!
Well written, hilarious, and true. Thank you.
If people would read the research..Breastfed babies have a higher IQ. Breastfed babies have fewer allergies, illnesses and ear infections. Women that breastfeed are usually more educated and have higher incomes than women that bottle feed.
I've got absolutely no problem with breast feeding in public. It actually makes me feel that both the mother (I assume) and the baby are in better shape due to this.
Paul Thomann
And finally, can we take a moment to contemplate the irony of advocating that people not shame breastfeeding-in-public mothers by shaming fat people and "sluts" instead? I mean, come on, folks, really? To all ya'll who assert the oh-so-tired "it's not about the fat! it's about the skin!" line, 1} I have a bridge to sell you, and 2} even if that were the case, slut-shaming still sucks and hey, heads-up, it's the BASIS of breastfeeding-mother shaming, heeelllooooo.
Amen sister! Very well said! Thank you for writing this!
Kudos on this post. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
This is great, although I'm sure it will send a lot of people who object to breastfeeding into an apoplexy. I have a bit of a theory going about those (in the main) who find breastfeeding offensive: it's ok to a lot of people that images which sexualise women are prevalent in Western society because the viewer is the one who has the power. However, a breastfeeding woman? I think it challenges traditional power relations between the viewer and the viewed because the woman is taking control over her own body (although you could argue that the baby is also in control! Point is, it's not the viewer who has the power). I'm still thinking about this one but it interests me greatly as to why people object to breastfeeding.
I always tried to be as discreet as possible when NIP but it never failed that when I would find a somewhat secluded table, bench, chair [fill in the blank] and get settled in with my baby nursing, some GUY would sit down right next to me, unaware of what was going on right under his nose, and under the obvious blanket draped over myself and my baby. C'mon - what did he think was happening under there? While I never had anyone be rude enough to ask me to leave, I did get my share of looks. You know, the ones that say 'geesh, can't you do that somewhere else?'. I remember once NIP in the front seat of my own car, under a blanket in front of some business where there was a window in front and this guy kept staring at me. I felt so self conscious that I finally took the blanket and hung it from the visor so I wouldn't have to see HIM looking at ME. Geesh, take a picture already. Love the blog!!
Thanks so much for this post! As a mom who did feel insecure in bf'n my "first" (ok second time around) I do remember standing in the bathroom stall at a busy restaurant crying because i was feeding my baby in a disgusting place, having to Pee and no where to put her! Lets just say this time around (with my current 5th daughter) I dont care WHO sees me bf'n, I do try to be discrete, but thats also because there's alot of muffin top on me this time! LOL
Thanks again!
Dawn
I LOVE this blog! Unfortunately I was unable to breastfeed my first past a month and a half. But during that month and a half I would proudly NIP. We don't have to hide when we eat and neither should they. Personally I feel its a very beautiful thing to nurse your child.
Jami and anonymous(those who were offended by this post) I don't think the blogger was saying that overweight people are unfit to be seen in public. I don't mind overweight people at all, I'm overweight, not as much as the one pictured, but still no one's perfect. I really think her point is if you're that overweight at least dress w/ some dignity. No one wants to see all that cellulite hanging out for goodness sake. I wouldn't wear that EVER, not even to bed where no one but my husband would see it. If you are that size and someone is telling you that "that (red) outfit looks great, you should wear it to walmart w/ no pants" You need a new friend cause they are LYING through their teeth. THINK about what she's saying...no one is saying we want overweight people to hide out, we're just saying we don't want to SEE everything God gave ya. There's nothing wrong w/ dressing modestly. I don't want to see it on Brittany either, I don't care what size you are, there's something to be said for leaving a little to the imagination. I think Brittany is a SKANK!
Freaking love it! You are plain old awesome.
And hey, I am fat. I don't let it hang out.
When I was nursing (23 months) I covered my fat tummy and not my boobs - people thought it was weird. I always said I was proud of my (then) large lactating breasts, I wasn't proud of my scary white rolly-polly tummy.
Bookmark!
it's strange to me that it seems the only people making any noise about this issue are people in support of women who want to breast feed in public.
I can't hear the folks they are protesting against anywhere. maybe if i was in the position of being a breast feeding mother it'd be different.
In my experience most women do their best to cover up for their own modesty's sake anyway.
No, the point is: WHO SAYS it's "disgusting skin exposure"? Who's skin is digusting (fat peoples, obviously)? How much should they have to cover up? To the wrists and ankles?
I, personally, choose to dress relatively modestly, but I'm above shaming others for their comfort level of dress, just as I expect others not to shame me for nursing my child when he needs/wants to eat. This isn't just a fight for pretty thin ladies, people.
i'm confused by this post and the implications- what if the breastfeeding mothers are FAT and UNATTRACTIVE like the people you're mocking? would it then be wrong for them to breastfeed in public? thanks for your anticipated clarification.
Ok, let ME get right to the point:
Pardon me while I take a pee in this soda bottle. Don't worry, it's a natural bodily function that HAS to happen, and I have the right to do it whenever and wherever I please. Hey, what are YOU gawking at!? Haven't you seen anybody pee in a bottle before? It's just skin. Has it not occured to you that this appendage is not simply for your viewing pleasure, but for my bodily function? To release the toxins from my body? Don't worry, I won't get any on the floor. No fuss, no muss.
Don't get mad at ME because I decide the need to take a squirt right on aisle six - it's perfectly naturaly, and is the best way to make sure that the toxins exit my body in the healthies manner possible. Feel free to whip it out and do your business, but don't give me any junk when I do the same.
We shall see how 'open to dialogue' your blog is... (I.e. - "Your comment will be visible after approval.") Yeah, I'm guessing that I probably shouldn't hold my breath...
I think I love you.
TMZ should cover this blog post! :D
I applaud you availing yourself of your right to breastfeed in public as long as you don't get offended when I do my best to get an eye-full of your boob (and if I do, I WILL mentally evaluate it and rate it against all the other boobs I've had the pleasure of seeing... "eh, not bad, but I've seen better... would be nice if it didn't sag so much."
I am 100% for breastfeeding but I don't agree with using your baby and your boob to make a point.
@Anonymous #119...You are an ADULT (though your lack of reason and logic leaves me inclined to think otherwise...). An adult can waito to urinate in a bathroom. A baby does not understand that, and is hungry randomly, or in need of comfort at unexpected times. Oh, and comparing urine and feces to breast milk??? PLEASE. Breast milk is the opposite of a waste product!! It is a living substance containing components that kill cancer, heal burns, cure pinkeye, and nourish and protect the bodies of both mom and nursling.
Your ignorance is astounding and pathetic. Scamper off now.
Throughout history we always saw women breastfeeding and we were all successful at breastfeeding. It is the trying to hide it that is creating the breastfeeding challenges that so many women have. Until it is viewed as normal and acceptable, we will continue to have women struggle with breastfeeding.
Just like I think everyone should look in the mirror before they leave the house, every nursing mother should nurse in front of a mirror at least once to see what other people will see. I nursed 3 children for at least 3 years each, also in public when needed. I am offended when I see babies drinking soda or kool aid from a bottle, or carried in a plastic seat instead of close to mothers heart, but I realize that it is the parents choice. God gave women breasts to feed their children not for mans pleasure. Stop being such a prude and let mothers do what is best for their children. Human babies need human milk, they are not baby cows.
I have been a commited lactivist since just after my younger sister started feeding her kids.
I guess that it felt a bit weird that my sister was feeding but I started to realise that was because society had conditioned me against it.
I was talking to a friend about this and said "Yeah, it was odd at first but it's just a mother feeding her child so I realised the problem was mine and I just had to get used to it".
He called me a pervert!
Personally I think that a guy who gets used to the idea that his sister is feeding her kids is 'normal'. I'd only be a pervert if I got a kick out of it. Since that point I've become as vocal as possible about the rights of women everywhere to feed their kids the way nature intended and screw those who think it's perverted. I think it's pretty perverted to feed kids another animal's milk through an artificial nipple when there is plenty of healthy human milk available.
A friend of mine in US Silicon Valley is donating expressed milk for mothers who can't lactate. She has my utmost respect. I'd encourage any other women who have the time and the ability to do likewise. The message should be not just that breast is best, not just that nursing is normal but that human milk is the ONLY natural option to feed any child. If I were a woman myself I would do the same...
Oh and for those who are comparing breastfeeding in public to other activities.
Around 100 years ago and at any time before then breastfeeding in public has been completely acceptable.
In the Victorian era when EVERYTHING below the waist (even the ankles) had to be covered up, breasts weren't even considered sexual. ( http://www.victoriana.com/library/doors/nursing.html )
As far as I know it has NEVER been acceptable to urinate or defecate in public.
Amen and preach it sister!
I am a self proclaimed right wing extremist. I am as modest as most of the Amish women who live around me.
I have breast fed 6 - yes 6 children in public so many times I can't count.
Nobody ever says anything to me, and I admit I can whip it out pretty unobtrusively.
Oh I wish someone would say something to me - I could rain down my fiery red headed death on their heads.
I do think women should be careful but I do not put blankets over - just do it like in the pictures.
Beautiful boobies being used the way God intended! Yay boobies!
This is so awesome! Well said!
I agree with you - people need to present themselves in a way that fits their figure. People should also take care of their bodies. No more obesity!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I love it. Thank You.
That is all.
Oh My Gosh! You know..this was perfect! (well, almost. I don't swear, so that's the exception. LOL!) That said, you're so right!!! Thumbs up! I LOVE NURSING IN PUBLIC!
I LOVE this!!
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