Saturday, January 2, 2010
3:54 PM | Edit Post
You may think that getting that "little snip-snip" done on a baby boy is something quick, simple, and it will all be done and forgotten. I'm here to let you know that there is so much more to it than that. There are countless mothers who regret having their sons circumcised. (There are also countless men who resent being cut as babies, but their voices will be heard in another post when I get it done). The following quotes barely scratch the surface of this tragic reality. So many say things like "If only I had known better, I wouldn't have done it". Perhaps this post will reach someone PRIOR to having their son cut, and then they WILL know better! I will include informative links at the end for those interested in further research.
The following quotes are taken from this forum thread: http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=112410
I have only used short excerpts because the thread goes on for TWENTY-SEVEN PAGES, full of gut-wrenching stories of pain, regret, suffering, and injury! Thank you to these brave mothers for honestly sharing their feelings in hopes of sparing other mothers and their sons from similar fates. I challenge any mother considering circumcision to be brave enough to read more stories from that thread before going through with it! You will never regret educating yourself before making a life-altering decision, but you could very well regret having your son cut without really understanding the whole issue (and he could likely be unhappy about it too!).
“I felt a LOT of guilt and intense anger over my son’s circ, especially after I read this article which I stumbled upon at the Public Library (my son was then 6 months old).
“My oldest son is circumsized and I regret it immensely after reading some of the no-circ websites. I am glad that I ultimately decided against circumsizing for my youngest, but I deeply regret that I was not informed in time to save my oldest. When he asked me about the difference between how they look, I explained it to him, and then promptly hid in the bathroom and cried for 20 minutes.
If I could only take it back, I would in a heartbeat.”
“It was a bad circumcision. Part of the foreskin was left intact and the whole head looked like it was twisted. And he bled for a long time. I regretted it very much. I cried every time I changed his diapers. I still feel sorry that I was not better informed. And now that I am informed, I feel even worse that I took such an important part of his penis, a part that gives so much pleasure to men, and we threw it into the garbage. Why? Why would a doctor do that? For what reason would anyone take a part of a human being and cut it off? I could cry just thinking about it. My son is now 35 yr. old and I really still regrett it.
A few years ago he asked me why I had him circumcised at birth, why I bothered to do that, why I didn't just leave it alone?
I had no answers. I told him that I had regretted it many times and I was sorry even now. He harbors no bad feelings toward me, but I know he wishes he were intact.”
“It's so embarassing for me to post this. My ds, who was my first baby and I had when I was 16, is circumcised. I didn't get what I was allowing done to him and I would not choose it again. It makes me sad every time I think about what I signed that form for.
I told them to cut off part of my perfect baby when he was just fine the way he was. They didn't use any pain medication at all. So he was lying there, strapped down, and operated on, and he could feel it all. And I did nothing to help him. For days afterwards all he would do was sleep. I had to wake him to eat and then he would go right back to sleep. The hardest thing for me was taking care of his little bloody, scabby penis when I had to change his diaper.
Don't put yourself and your baby through what we went through. You won't regret not circumcising, but you may very well regret going through with it.”
“I so regret having my first son circumcised. I was young. I was stupid. I will never be responsible for having that done to another child ever again.”
“I was pressured by everyone who told me it was "cleaner" and all that mumbo jumbo. I still want to cry today when I think about it. He was a quiet little sweet thing and he came back with a red face from crying and was crying so hard. I was so heartbroken. I will NEVER let another son of mine be circ'd. I have a picture of my baby boy before he was cut. It is hard to look at my boy's perfect newborn penis in that photo. My son had no say in what we allowed to have done to him.”
“I was so ignorant of what was involved with circumsion. Both my boys were circumcised. I didn't know that a baby could die, or experience sexual problems later on in life. I would have never allowed the procedure if I had an inkling of what was involved”
“I had my first son circumcized when he was born in '92. I was young, uneducated and assumed it was just the way things were supposed to be. I bought into the whole "don't you want him to look like his father?" argument. When I changed his diaper for the first time after the procedure I was horrified. It looked so raw and sore and I was in tears over the agony he must have gone through. The nurses assured me that he felt no pain. How could they possibly know that?”
“We had our son circed and I regret it (DH doesn't, yet). I did it b/c DH wanted to and it was the thing to do, I never knew any different. The thing that should've tipped me off was when he slept all day the day of his surgery and wouldn't even wake to eat! That's not a great way to start a nursing relationship. He also had a small penile adhesion that was fixed at his 8.5 mos appt by simply pulling it apart. It was all red and horrible looking and he just cried! Next time I'm planning on leaving my son the way God made him, intact.”
“All 3 of my boys are circ'd. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Thank goodness our 4th was a girl...dh said he would take him to get circ'd if it was a boy. I told him over my dead body he would....but any way it was a girl, so we didn't have to worry about it.”
“I have to tell you, I hope my son forgives me one day for this, that was a stupid decision, I had no right to do this to him, to cause him such pain and damage to his body.”
“I had my perfect baby boy circ'd 12 years ago. I didn't know any better. It was the worst day of my life. And the worst choice of my life. At least my other bad life choices became learning experiences. There was no benefit whatsoever to this one--inflicting such pain on my innocent, trusting and helpless baby. The horror I feel at the thought of my decision has not lessened one iota. I wish I could take back that day.”....
“Although the pediatrician that did the circumcision did a "great" job, and used anesthetic and all, the aftermath made me regret immediately. He refused to nurse for almost 18 hours, at just 2 days of age, and in our 3 day hospital stay, he lost almost a complete pound, partly because he simply refused to nurse. The next several weeks were very hard, as he cried each and every time that he peed, and when the diaper touched him, regardless of the amount of ointment we would put on his penis. To this day, his penis seems unnaturally red just below the head, and we've even had to deal with the skin partially growing together when he was about 1-year old (involved re-separating and ointment ... and more pain). I'm also having to deal with the thought of having another boy who will NOT be circumsized (I know better now, so I'll do better now), and having one day to explain why they are different.”
“I completly regret letting my first son be circ'd....my other 2 boys are intact..I just wished I had been informed sooner for the sake of my first son....too late for him.”
“I have a friend whose son had one of the botched circs. He's 4.5 yrs old and it seems like he's always having dr. visits and issues. I was shocked the first time I saw his penis; it's like there's nothing there!”
“My son is circ'ed. DH and I are both filled with regret over it. We failed him so badly, before he was two days old. He's about 22 months now, and the memory is still raw for me, the guilt is still tearing me up. DH went with him for the procedure. When they returned to me, DH looked green and deeply shaken. Our poor baby had passed out after screaming his head off. He woke about 15 minutes later, with the most heartwrenching wail, and I put him to my breast and DH and I cried. What can I say? We didn't know any better until it was too late.”
“I felt horrible when he would scream at the top of his lungs at every diaper change and when he peed for the first 2-3 weeks of his life. I felt like the most horrible person in the world. And after hearing of some horror stories of really badly botched circs I felt worse that I had put him in that kind of situation and that we were lucky he didn't lose half his penis or something. The guilt really set in when I had my first daughter and I realized no one came to ask me when I wanted to sign the paperwork to cut off part of her genitals. I had 2 girls after my ds was born but if I had other sons I wouldn't have cir'd them.”
“The circ was not performed properly and therefore, the skin did not heal properly. Now what is left of my son's foreskin has attached itself improperly to the glans. I can either have it fixed, which means he would have to be cut again, or I can wait until he grows a bit and gradually the skin will probably rip itself away from the glans. Either way, he will suffer. I am devastated that I was not strong enough to protect him. Now my husband has a change of heart, and we will not circ the next child if it is a boy. But that does my first born son no good. I will be eternally sorry for the choice I made.”
“When I was in nursing school we were given the option to watch a circ. At first I balked, and then I figured it was a good idea, because then I could describe the circ in detail to questioning parents. I won't go into detail; most of you know what's involved. When the baby was strapped down and the device put on his little penis it was all I could do to keep myself from leaping in front of the doctor. What I saw was a child being tortured--no anaesthesia, no nothing. I stood next to a classmate from ....Scotland.... (where they don't DO this kind of thing) and we both were crying.”
“I have to say that I did want to have a full awareness for what my husband and I chose to do to our son...and I did not want my baby son to have this experience alone...so I attended his circumcision and cared for him as best I could during and after the procedure. I am not a squeamish person in the least, and the operation itself was not gory, but the look on his face during it...I cannot believe that I put my beautiful son through that- and I didn't even have a compelling reason. I have changed a few important things about his life by this act and I am truly sorry. Please, take the whole baby home with you.”
“I completely regret doing circ with our first son. We didn't know anything about it at the time, my dh is, and of course all the medical staff told us "it was the best choice to do" even though my heart was totally against it. I still am disappointed in myself for not pushing for more information or going with my instinct. We didn't do it with our next son and will never do it again. For us the problem won't be explaining to our uncirc sons why they aren't like their dad or brother, but more so why our first son was.”
FOR FURTHER RESEARCH:
General info: http://www.circumcision.org/
Infants feel and remember circumcision pain: http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/1f21e.htm
Should circumcision be for adults only? http://www.prweb.com/releases/circumcision/mgmbill/prweb612141.htm
More great general info: http://www.birthnaturally.org/ConsumerInfo/circumcision.htm
RISKS of circumcision: http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/williams-kapila/
The foreskin advantage: http://www.noharmm.org/advantage.htm
Psychological and neurological impacts of circumcision: http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/
Do men remember the trauma of circumcision? http://www.menweb.org/circtom.htm
Psychological impacts of male circumcision: http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/
Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma: http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/circumcision.htm
CNN-Circumcision study halted due to trauma: http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9712/23/circumcision.anesthetic/
The Common and Not-So-Common Complications of Routine Infant Circumcision: http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/botch.htm
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