Monday, February 22, 2010

Foreskin in the Bedroom: One Woman's Love Affair With an Intact Penis

A guest-post by Breezy Peterson

The first time my husband and I made love was almost exactly like every other couple’s first time; we were shy, intimidated by each other’s nakedness, but eager to explore what nature had given us. And just like most first times, it was over just about as quickly as it had begun.

It wasn’t until the third or fourth time that I realized there was something different about my then-boyfriend’s penis---he had EVERYTHING that nature had given him. This particular time, we were naked before he reached full erection, and his foreskin hadn’t disappeared yet. He saw my eyes go wide as I discovered this new (to me) part of him.

 
Born at home 20 years after male circumcision peaked in the United States, and 2 years before the American Academy of Pediatrics would once again endorse routine male circumcision, my lover was “intact”. He enjoyed my thorough exploration of his foreskin, which felt as soft as a kitten’s ear beneath my fingers.

 
Needless to say, it retracted before I was done investigating. From then on, he indulged my curiosity. My gentle probing soon became a kind of foreplay. Once, as I realized I had been fascinated by his foreskin for the better half of an hour, I pulled my hands away, convinced that my scrutiny had made him uncomfortable.

 
He put his hands on mine. He asked me not to stop. He said that my fascination with his foreskin made him feel beautiful.

 
I had known long before our relationship became intimate that my man was different. We had gone to the same middle school. There had been rumors that he was uncircumcised. As prepubescent tweens, my girl friends and I had no idea what uncircumcised meant, and so it became a mysterious and exotic condition that had us giggling.

 
During 8th grade sexual education, my future husband and I sat in the same room, glowing red with embarrassment as our P.E. teacher used a yard stick to point out nipples and ovaries and testicles and pubic hair. There was no mention of intact penises. All of the slides showed a congenial adult man with a circumcised member.

 
As high schoolers, little changed. My man was never embarrassed in the locker room or singled out in the showers by the schoolmates he had known since Kindergarten for being different.

 
His foreskin was not "extra baggage". He was just one of the guys.

 
The most thought they ever gave to it, as a collection of small-town-close-knit peers, was to beg him to do “the penny trick” that he had mastered during puberty.

 
To this day, when my husband drinks too much with old friends, they inevitably dig in their pockets for change and convince him to do it. With enough whisky in him, he will gleefully drop his pants, tuck the proffered coin into his foreskin, retract it, and fire the projectile at an unsuspecting target.

 
His nearest and dearest buddies still fondly call him “Penny”.

 
My husband's foreskin has been, since the beginning, a part of him that I fell instantly in love with. Just as I adore his heart thumping beneath my palm and the scratch of his stubble on my cheek, I love his foreskin.

 
He would be incomplete without it. It is as much a part of him as the freckles on his chest or the brown spot in his otherwise blue eyes. Without any of these things, he wouldn’t be the man that I devoted myself to, the man I will forever share my life with.

 
He is an intact man, and I am proud to be his lover, his best friend and his wife.



*Breezy is a stay-at-home mama to two beautiful little girls, one born in the San Francisco Bay Area and the other in South Carolina. She is also a proud Navy Wife, following her husband around the country, as well as a certifying Labor Doula. She spends much of her time providing prenatal education to expecting parents, but her ultimate joy is watching the amazing transformation of women during birth.*


Business Blog - www.journeysendlabordoula.com


Personal Blog - www.wumboing.blogspot.com


Email - journeysend.labordoula at yahoo.com

54 comments:

Dionna @Code Name: Mama said...

After recently reading several ignorant comments from women who find foreskins "ugly" (sigh), my heart has felt a little bit trampled on. My son's penis is "ugly"? My husband's penis is . . . attractive? Thank you for a peek into your intimate life. My hope is that my son's future wife won't give much thought to the state of his natural foreskin (other than to enjoy it), since it will be normal (and far from ugly).
(I must be in a parenthetical mood today ;))

nicole said...

The beginning part about discovering her husband's foreskin is just about the same story as me discovering my husbands! I was a little shy at first and talked to a friend about it before I could bring myself to talk to him, but once I did, then the fascination began!

I asked him if he had ever been subject to the locker room teasing or disgust from women that I SO often hear about by pro-circumcision people and he said that none of that EVER happened to him. That in fact, more women seemed intrigued by it than turned off & in a casual conversation one time, a woman whom he wasn't dating even ask if she could see it just because she never had.

He had a few partners before me and has never contracted an STD, never had any problems with any build-up or infection whatsoever. He's a CLEAN guy who knows how to clean himself everywhere so that he avoids all that! Yay for foreskin adoration!

Amber said...

this was a great story!! I was cracking up laughing at the penny trick. now that is something i would pay to see!!!

Baby Girl Williams/Morse said...

Awesome guest blogger! Thanks for sharing that. I LOVE the penny trick! Who woulda thought? :D

Every time I read about the joys of a woman for her intact man I just thank God again that I allowed my son to remain just as he was made.

Anonymous said...

I love this post! Thank you!!

-Brittany

Anonymous said...

I too didn't realized my husband was different until he was in my mouth! LOL! Sorry (TMI)

Anonymous said...

i am currently in a committed relationship with a circumcised man (who I love deeply)but I VERY FREQUENTLY miss the feel and sensation of an intact penis - It is something that turns me on more than most things and it is a constant struggle for me -- wondering if I'll always be craving how much more i liked the sensation...i wish they would make dildos that were uncircumsised - with foreskin that moved and was pre-lubed!

Anonymous said...

Damn that was hot. I wish DH was intact. :(

Camille said...

I could have written this myself! Love it! I too am in love with my beautiful man's intact penis and enjoy it as often as I can. Frankly, I have always found that sex with an intact penis is far superior to sex with a circumcised man.

The Whites said...

My husband is intact too... and for the first few months we were intimate I never even knew!

Restoring Tally said...

Anonymous at 5:03 PM (committed to a circumcised man):

It is a touchy subject (no pun intended), but your guy could restore his foreskin. It is not exactly like the original equipment, but my wife really likes my restored foreskin. Unfortunately, many men get very defensive if anyone suggests a circumcised penis could be better if it had not been cut. What convinced me to restore was the Sex as Nature Intended It site (NSFW), which taught me that having a foreskin would benefit my wife and me.

Lauren said...

LOL I loved this!!! I'm so glad that if we ever have a son, his future wife will be able to enjoy his ENTIRE body too! :)

stella said...

great post!

Ashley said...

Where I live, to be circumcised is weird. I live in South Florida, USA. Lots of Hispanics and Europeans. Its very uncommon and I am glad. My boyfriend is Honduran and I feel that if he wasnt intact then I wouldn't had a problem circumcising my son without research :[ thank god my boyfriend helped teach me and I researched everything. I still receive mean talks from my jewish family but I dont care. My son is beautiful

Kate said...

I am vehemently opposed to circumcision and try to do my part in educating others. I love Woman Uncensored and have shared the blog links with many.

If people want to publicly post about their love for their partners' genitals, that certainly their right. But (you knew it was coming :-)), I would like to suggest that this sort of post may not be the best way to convince parents to leave their sons intact. After all, the previous post included this statement, "You say an intact penis is ugly. I say you're a pervert for looking at your perfect little son that way..."

I do think my sons' intact bodies are beautiful and I am glad to know they will be able to experience normal sexual satisfaction later in life (unlike their father). But if I were expecting a baby boy, I am not sure that imagining his future sexual partner(s) fondling his foreskin would be the major deciding factor for me.

Mandi said...

That is so interesting.

I actually can't even imagine what circumcised penis looks like. I never even thought about my husbands "weirdness" until my sister-in-law asked me do I mind that her brother isn't circumcised. My husband just laughed and said, they don't circumcise in Europe, so my wife doesn't mind! I was appalled that time when I found out that the US, the land of the free, supposedly a Western, civilized country, does routine circumcision!!! I was like what the crap??!!

I'm proud of my American yet intact, complete husband! (we're not definitely cutting our boys' penises!! hello!!)

Greetings from Finland.

Anonymous said...

Foreskin performs many functions that enhance pleasure for both the man and his female partner.

How a Foreskin Benefits the Woman:

http://xrl.us/WhyWomenLikeNaturalSex
http://xrl.us/ChristianeNorthrupMD

How a Foreskin Benefits the Man:

http://xrl.us/ForeskinFunctions

Anonymous said...

Imagine this is a dinner party... and you guys are talking about penises and about "I too didn't realized my husband was different until he was in my mouth!"

Shoot me if I'm ever in attendance at that dinner. Move on. Enough with the penis chatter. GET a LIFE, all of you!!!

Woman Uncensored said...

"But if I were expecting a baby boy, I am not sure that imagining his future sexual partner(s) fondling his foreskin would be the major deciding factor for me."

This blog wasn't really posted to "convince" anyone to leave their son intact. I certainly hope a parent would decide such things for many more reasons.

Its just a friggin interesting blog that I believed a lot of my readers would like. They don't ALL have to be for the purpose of convincing someone of something.

Jessica said...

I have wanted to extol the benefits of foreskin but haven't been able to bring myself to do so, my MIL and family read my blog! My DH was born in Europe and thankfully, is intact. While I can't completely credit his whole penis for the superiour quality of sex compared to partners I had before him I do think it has something to do with it for sure.

Loved this post, made me smile. I am puzzled by some of the responses, your sons future partner having greater sexual pleasure because your son's body would be left as it was when he was born doesn't matter to you? Wouldn't factor in if you knew that could be the case? Sure, maybe not the primary reason but I have no problem admitting that I hope, for their sake, my girls fall in love with an intact man. It won't be a big deal if they don't but I sure as heck like my man intact and since I'm not naive enough to pretend they won't be having sex one day I want them to really enjoy it.

Bah, I have a headache and am starting to ramble. Anyway, thanks for the fun post!

Acacia @ Be Present Mama said...

Beautiful little love story :) So hopeful that when my son grows up he will find someone as lovingly curious about his intact penis! Thank you for that peek into your bedroom.

Breezy Peterson said...

I suppose my intent was to debunk the "women think foreskins are gross" claim. I certainly didn't sit down to write explicitly about my sex life, but I didn't mention anything in this post that I haven't already said to many new Mamas face to face. It's pretty PG-13 if you ask me. The perspective of an adult woman is not often available when it comes to foreskin, so I wanted to share mine. The decisions that parents make on behalf of their children last a lifetime, especially when it involves permanently removing a piece of that child's anatomy! That was my point, really, that you are not just circumcising your son---you are circumcising someone's boyfriend and lover and husband and father. You are making a choice that will affect every stage and phase of his life, whether you want to realize it or not. Choose wisely :)

Latinalonestar said...

I love this. This can speak to mothers who fear that their son will not be loved by a woman due to his intact state. Believe it or not some moms really think that a foreskin will cause rejection! I think this post says perfectly that "foreskins are excellent shallow girl detectors". Any woman that has an issue with a man's intact state is shallow and not worthy of any intact man's love and affection.

big joe said...

As a 44 y/o man born in the "old country" of Italy yes...I too am a barbarian....and I LOVE IT!! i am unique and my jewish wife of course kinda was taken back a bit at first ..that was 14 years ago..now she is proud that i have all of me..we have 2 girls so we never had to worry ..we wouldn't have allowed those butchers to touch our son anyway if we had one...I have a VERY religious orthodox jewish friens and we were discussing god and all his silly beliefs ( sorry but the earth is NOT 5000 years old and god did not ascend to another pplane because of our sins..that's why he doesn't help us etc.) the ususal fairy tals stuff of fringe cults/religions etc...anyway i digress..during our conversation while i was explaining to him why the dinosaurs are not mentioned in the bible because they had not been discovered yet etc.....he asked me if i was circumcised..i quickly and proudly responded "hell to the no" ans said i was quite proud to be a barbarian..a real unmutilated person...boy did he freak out!!..he told me i had to get circumcised RIGHT AWAY..my soul and admission to heaven depended upon it..I laughed so hard i got a stitch in my side..needless to say he was thoroghly freaked out and soon left..just thought i would chime in ..very proud full penised man-----Joe L.

RD said...

Breezy Peterson's post is, arguably, a case of "too much information." And she doesn't tell us whether her DH is agreeable to having these details of his intimate life shared with the world via the internet.

But candor of this nature, shared between educated adult women, should prove very effective at stopping the American Foreskin Holocaust. Like it or not, dears, the tender bits excised by circumcision lie at the epicenter of the male sexual experience. Those bits interact with the labia minora and the vaginal wall during intercourse. Thus the foreskin is to be found at front and center stage of the sexual experience. The frenulum and frenular delta, also excised by circumcision, can be extremely potent during foreplay.

I, an intact man, spouse, and father, now wish to endorse enthusiastically the following comment by Ms Peterson:

"The perspective of an adult woman is not often available when it comes to foreskin, so I wanted to share mine. The decisions that parents make on behalf of their children last a lifetime, especially when it involves permanently removing a piece of that child's anatomy! That was my point, really, that you are not just circumcising your son---you are circumcising someone's boyfriend and lover and husband and father. You are making a choice that will affect every stage and phase of his life, whether you want to realize it or not."

Once again, a woman sees clearly what so many American fathers cannot bring themselves to see. Thank you, Breezy!!

RD said...

During my heady youth, intact yours truly never heard of any story of this nature. (If I had, it might have gone to my head, lol!) I spent 20 years between high school and loss of virginity, paralysed by fear of the snarky sarcasm of a woman of my generation completely ignorant of foreskin, and smugly confident that it was disgusting and unsanitary.

On that little bit of baby skin can hinge much of later life. When I was 25, I told a secular Jewish woman who had her heart set on me that I was intact. She replied with a heavy heart that she accepted me as I was. But I was not what she preferred. The year I turned 31, my best friend of the day stopped talking to me when I confided to him that I was intact. Several years ago, a grad school contemporary told me that his first grandchild was about to have a bris, adding harshly that any objections from my corner were utterly unwelcome. We have since been rather cool to each other.

I am married to a woman who revealed under of her past life to me to make it likely that she was sophisticated about foreskin. I guessed rightly. Our first time together was a fiasco because of my extreme nervousness. The second was extremely passionate. Afterwards, she had me stand naked while she kneeled on the carpet and very carefully explored my foreskin and its wrinkles. It was indeed very sweet.

For quite a few years afterwards, sex was primarily with a condom, which does much to eliminate the advantages of being intact. In recent years, her foreplay on me evolved so as to make rich used of the bits that I would lack had I been circumcised. She has noted the sensations arising from my foreskin moving back and forth inside her. I too can find this motion very satisfying. I would welcome more women's testimony about intimacy with an intact partner.

Anonymous said...

Here are some typical narratives to be found in intactivist blogs:
* My boys are intact and fine;
* I regret cutting my boys;
* I've struggled with my husband on this issue;
* My relatives are cut/intact.

Breezy's post stands very much apart from all this business as usual. While her post may have been a case of TMI, it is also true that infant circumcision permanently alters adult sexual pleasure and expression. American medicine and sexual culture are in denial about this fact.

Circumcision diminishes the most sexual part of a man's body, the tip of his penis, the Ground Zero of male sexuality. It turns something rich in moving parts into a fleshy equivalent of a dowel. Foreplay with an intact man is easy and varied; with a cut man, such female-on-male is a bit of a challenge. Does this explain the American obsession with oral sex?

I have never read a post by a European woman in the spirit of what Breezy wrote, because over there they take foreskin for granted. She is part of a gentle groundswell that is very gradually turning the USA from a foreskin-hating nation into a foreskin-loving one. For an American woman to carefully and lovingly examine, on a new lover, the moving bits that circumcision would have removed, asking questions all the while, is for me intimacy at its most intense.

Amy Bradstreet said...

Far from feeling this post was a case of TMI, I recognized my own exploration of my husband's foreskin and the pleasure we both took(take) in doing so. This was a beautiful post. I do think that we need to think about the future and be willing to accept that our sons will indeed be sexual beings at some point, so by all means, let's ensure that they will be intact, healthy and secure in the beauty of their bodies.

Outspoken Tomato said...

Wow! I love, love, LOVE this post! Thank you for sharing your story and enlightening those people that may think foreskin is "gross" or "unattractive."

Jessi said...

I was just thinking about this today - I have never enjoyed or even seen an intact man up close and personal.

Except that one college kid who did the "hungry baby bird".

But anyways. Thank you for sharing this. I don't think it's gross, I think it's natural and normal, and WISH that I could experience that. I truly feel that circumcision takes away from both the male AND his future partners. I can't say how many times I've been abraded and chaffed by a cut man :( I know something's missing, but how do I know until I have had the "whole" thing lol... thanks again.

pippi said...

my SO is intact, while he is not the first intact man i have been with he is the first i have thoroughly explored, before him i was married for 13 years to a circumcised man, the difference between them is astronomical, personally after being with my SO i now find the circumcised penis the odd looking one

Smurfy said...

Great post. :) It put a smile on my face.

My husband is circumcised, as were many men his age, but both our sons are intact. I often wish he had not been robbed of his bodily integrity, but he says his penis is such a huge part of his identity that it would be strange to him if it had a foreskin. It kind of makes me sad that so many circumcised men find their penises so normal. I love my husband with all my heart, and my love for him transcends the state of his penis, but I still wish that he was completely natural and whole, just like our sons.

Jennifer said...

Wow. *insert long sigh* This makes me sad that my husband is circ'ed, and I cannot experience something like this. Even if he restored his foreskin, it's never going to be the same. Far from thinking this was a case of TMI, this gave me a new perspective on what my intact sons will experience someday when they become sexually active. I am so very glad they have been left perfect as nature intended. Thank you for such a beautiful post!

Katie said...

Thats cool. But also quite sad that intact penises are deemed 'different' in a few society. I'm from England and tbh its the Circumcised penises that are looked down upon, labelled 'weird' and 'for jews'. Every boy at school is horrified at the idea of having his foreskin chopped off and not many people here believe that America and other nations practice circumcision to a degree where 'intact' is 'abnormal'. I hated the American birth shows when I was pregnant cos of the circumcision. Made me sick and full of hatred towards the parents who happily stood and watched as their baby, very cutely, screamed with terror ¬_¬
I'm glad that theres people like that who appreciate Foreskins as the norm :) I really hope countries that DO practice it stamp out the ancient tradition in favor of a healthy sex organ and a much better sex life for everyone :) by making circumcision a thing of the past :)

Saara said...

First, I would like to say that I loved this piece.

My first boyfriend was intact, and I never thought anything of it. I'd never heard of circ'ed vs. uncirc'ed. In our household (Finnish immigrants), all of the men were intact.

The man I married was intact. I didn't start thinking about circumcision until we went to prenatal class, and then, it was "Would we do that? Why would we do that? How barbaric is that??" ... and that was that. Of course, we left our boys intact.

We divorced long ago & I was single for many years. I hoped that my next partner would be intact, but... alas, I am of the generation where 95% of the men my age, in this area, are cut.

I love my boyfriend very, very much, but I wish he were intact. He knows that I am strongly opposed to circumcision (in babies), and at least his circumcision was quite loose... but I know what I'm missing, and I wish his parents had decided to leave him intact.

The scar, more than anything, horrifies me. How can anybody think that a scarred penis is preferable (or more beautiful) than a natural, intact penis?

Anonymous said...

I am in favor of anything that will help Americans to understand that there is nothing gross or dirty about a normal, healthy, intact penis. I will never get to experience sex with an intact man myself, but my husband and I made the choice to leave our three sons as nature intended, so I do recognize that they will be sexually active one day and hope and pray that it is not a burden to them in our perverse culture that celebrates genital mutilation.

Mrs. Embers said...

Far from TMI (especially on a sire called "Woman, Uncensored!"), I thought this was a great piece, and more women (and men) need to talk about the benefits of intact sex. I think that when men who WERE cut start getting pissed off about what was done to them- that's when we'll see some BIG changes.

My husband is intact, but because I'd never been with anyone else, I didn't understand what a difference it made. Since reading about the subject (years after leaving 2 sons intact) and seeing pictures of a cut penis, I'm SO glad my in-laws decided against circumcision... not that I'll tell them that. :)

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Anonymous said...

That was a fantastic story! Especially the penny part, I read that out loud to my husband. :-)

Renee K.

kalamity kristen said...

As I've been learning more & more about intactivism, I have not only found myself tearing-up with joy from leaving my son intact, but as a single mother, I also find myself seriously hoping for an intact partner to marry in the future. . . Intact is where it's at!

Anonymous said...

I don't think it was TMI at all! Thank goodness it is being spoken about so openly and honestly...FINALLY! My past experience with a circumcised male has lead me to the decision to only have relationships with uncircumcised men. I was greatly affected by the complications that arise during sex by the circumcised penis.

What God made is absolutely beautiful and I look forward to the day when I can have the experience that Breezy did!

Amy said...

It is the women of our generation, who have had both circumcised and intact, who will appreciate and be truly grateful for the existence of the foreskin.

Half of my partners have been intact. The man in my life has phimosis, and never knew it, as it's never been a problem for him, and boys really DON'T go around comparing penises, he says.. I love his foreskin, it's long and gives his penis a beautiful shape even when flacid. It frequently features in our play.. I'm more grateful for it because other partners have lacked it. I'm more grateful for it because some people see phimosis as justification for circumcision, yet here he is, beautifully whole.

Circumcision is not common in New Zealand, after being almost universally adopted for a while, and my daughter will likely only know intact men.

I'm glad my partner was born to educated parents, and that their positions in medical fields over here probably led them to the right decision, rather than the wrong one which is so often the case in the USA. I think he worries I'll have too much gin one Christmas and hug his mother appreciatively for bringing her whole son home. I would, I love his foreskin that much!

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the other anonymous, I've just realised what is so wrong with dildos. Anonymous - even if they made dildos with movable foreskins, they wouldn't moan when you lick them *blushes*

Rox said...

I was the exact same way when I found out my husband then boyfriend was intact. The foreskin is one of the softest pieces of skin... Satin-like

I like this post because even in the comments there are women who say I love my man despite of how his penis is... Cut or intact.
True love doesn't care.
Leave your kids whole, they will find love

Anonymous said...

The American Academy of Pediatrics NEVER endorsed infant male circumcision. So it certainly isn't justifiable to circumcise baby boys for health reasons and never was. That was a very good story, I liked reading it.

Anonymous said...

Wow this made me emotional, how beautiful is this relationship.
I am grateful to the intact man and sons in my life. I am hopeful for a full life for them.

Anonymous said...

This was absolutely beautiful.

-Wife of another whole man =)

A.M. said...

I love this post! (And I love my intact husband, too!)

Slee said...

This made me smile. A lot.

Amanda.... said...

love this.. hubby is intact and i have spent years exploring his foreskin it is soo much more interesting :)

Anonymous said...

I wish my Husband was intact. But since he didn't even want our Son to be left intact, it's not a subject I can discuss with him. Oh well, my Son has all of his parts and I know he is lucky for it. This was a beautiful post.

James Loewen said...

Very tender and loving story. So good to hear this frankness about sexual play with foreskin. (Very necessary for women and men to hear so that we can end the horror and abuse of forced genital cutting.)

This line stood out:

"He put his hands on mine. He asked me not to stop. He said that my fascination with his foreskin made him feel beautiful."

Thanks for sharing this intimate story.

Anonymous said...

wow this was powerful, please keep it up. People need to stop living their life based on untrue stereotypes. Majority of the world's men are intact.

aschram13 said...

Beautiful, to the point of bringing up mist in the eyes.

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