Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Time wasted on fools...

I was listening to the radio in the car today, and they were talking a bit about how sometimes total strangers or even people you know will randomly come up and criticize your parenting.  "You're feeding that baby wrong", "You've got to get him sleeping on schedule", "Why isn't she wearing a hat in this weather?" et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam.  

They asked for the biblical perspective on how to respond in these type of situations.  I usually refrain from bringing up religion, but hopefully whatever your personal beliefs may be, you can acknowledge there is *some* wisdom to be found in the Bible.  *end disclaimer*

A verse they quoted was this: 

"Do not rebuke a fool or he will hate you;
       rebuke a wise man and he will love you."

I like how the Message version of the Bible elaborates on this:

"If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you'll get slapped in the face;
   confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don't waste your time on a scoffer;
   all you'll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
   that's different—they'll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it;
   tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it."

I can especially relate to this in the world of Facebook and blogging.  There are some people that are truly impossible to reason and communicate with.  

They talked about how we need to consider the type of person we are talking with in the situation.  There are times when we can just politely (or not, lol) blow a person off because they would never hear us through their ignorance anyway, and other times when we may be able to say "Thanks for your concern, but actually here's what we do and why..." and be met with understanding and respect by a wise person.  There are some fools though, that no matter what you say and do, will always find a way to hate on you for it.  They may even dig their heels into their foolish ways even more just to spite you for daring to disagree.  An example would be the mothers on facebook discussion boards I've seen say things like "I can't wait to circumcise my kid just to piss people like you off".  Yeah.  Those discussions are definitely time wasted on fools.  Especially after a few hundred mind-numbing pages of their idiocy, lol.

Anyhoo, just some scattered late night thoughts, and I'd love to hear yours :-)


Anonymous said...

The bible is very well written!!

This is a great way to explain (though only to the wise) why some people get the long answer and others get the short.

My aunt was crowing over my purchase of a pram for my 7mo daughter. "you said you would carry her until she was two".... No dear aunt you got the short answer design to shock you enough into not arguing. The long version is more complex and would be wasting my breath.

Tiff said...

Another great way to say "choose your battles." Great post.

Keri said...

I'm usually not up for a debate when given unsolicited parenting "advise" so I'll usually say " thanks for your concern" or "I'll keep that in mind" and remove myself from the situation as quickly as possible. LOL

Anonymous said...

Is it not hypocritical to say, that you hate when people judge your parenting styles/decisions, but then you will give grief to parents parenting style/decisions that differ from yours?

Can we all just be mothers and stop pitting against each other just because some choose to circumcise, formula feed, get vaccinations instead of calling names and saying that the "other" mothers are ill-informed fools?

We all share a common bond, we retain a mothers love and perhaps we should stop judging everyone else and embrace others.

Anonymous said...

I am a big fan "not" of the people who tell your baby whats wrong with your parenting. ie: "oh..your mommy put you in an outfit thats way too hot for today." or my personal fave " you look like you need a drink from mom" eerrgghh!

Rebekah C said...

I appreciate your thought on this. There is a lot of wisdom in the Bible. That passage was so timely for me, thanks for sharing.

Pick your battles (or who you battle with) eh?

newincs said...

"and other times when we may be able to say "Thanks for your concern, but actually here's what we do and why..." and be met with understanding and respect by a wise person. "

I thought I had one of these today.. unfortunately she turned out to be the opposite and told me how selfish I am to do AP and EBF... so sad that people think they should tell another person how to parent. What works for one may or may not work for another. It doesn't necessarily mean that one is right, wrong or "more right" it simply means that folks are different! :) I so wish more people realized this!

Very well founded and written blog WU! :)

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