Monday, May 10, 2010
6:06 PM | Edit Post
(This is my 2nd "interview" with an adult that was unschooled. You can read Melissa's story here)
I have had the unique experience of "meeting" Quinn Eaker, son of Barb Lundgren (creator of Rethinking Education/Rethinking Everything). He speaks openly of his experience and lets us have a peek into a sort of life that differs greatly from the "typical" childhood.
My name is Quinn Eaker. Life is my passion.
I am a true unschooler at heart and am who I am today because of it. Even being the tip of the spear for the unschooling movement I have now chosen to no longer embrace the word unschooling. I am bringing for the combination of words that contain the true essence of what unschooling is. Self Designed Perfection This interview is a great opportunity to share the vast awareness & experience of the pure essence of existence.
1. What ages were you unschooled, and how old are you now?
I have been unschooled since birth and am now 27
2.Do you know why your parents chose to unschool?
When my mother was pregnant with me she like my father was a college educated person with a well paying job. Being professionals, work was a part of life and my mother foresaw her self going back to work one day. This would mean me in school or daycare. When I was born my mother realized that this child was pure potential. That it was HER world that was full of fear/lack/limitation/doubt/war/shame/guilt/control/manipulation etc. She realized she had nothing to teach me and everything to remember. She knew she would no longer be going back to work and that I would not be going to school or day care. She shared this pure uncompromising realization with my father saying "you can be on board in full support or we can go our separate ways" My father chose to support this radical possibility. There have been plenty moments of fear and doubt but this pure realization held the foundation for our life.
3. Did you have siblings that were unschooled as well? If so, how many, and can you tell us a bit about what that was like?
I have a younger brother and sister. Having siblings growing up unschooled is so important. For kids love to play with kids and it is rare to find an adult who can play at the level of a kid every day and also really enjoy it. Me and my brother growing up were best friends. We slept together, showered together & played almost all day every day together. We got along so well it was as if we were twins. My brother was 6 years younger than me but because we were together all day and I treated him as an equal he was as fast and strong as my friends of 12 when he was 6. Being full on all the time he was extraordinarily capable. Playing baseball together for hours and hours a day, when he went into little league to play with kids his age he was surpassing previous home run records by 5 times. I feel its so important to have a true unschooled friend especially a sibling because we were so full on there was no one else that could exist at such a level. To rely on people that spend most of their life in a place they dont want to be doing something they dont want to do is very limiting. For not only is most of life sucked up but such people are not very engaged in life because they have had to numb themselves to exist in such dysfunction. Our ability to learn and bring it on is unfathomable until it is witnessed.
4. What was your parents' working situation? Was one of them a stay-at-home parent? Do you think working parents can unschool?
My father has been working in support of his family for our whole life. He went to work 5 days a week giving almost all pay in service to his family. He came home every night to play for a couple of hours, was home on weekends taking care of the property, playing and being present. My mother dedicated her life to holding and providing space for her children to be free and have access to whatever was important. My mother has not had a job since I was born though she does run her own business now that we are all grown up and on our own.
Running ones own business/working for ones self is really the only option I could consider or support. I dont think it would be possible for parents to unschool their kids if there was no parent at home until the kids were 10 or so. After that its totally doable as by then kids are fully independent and capable of navigating life. Being a single parent is pretty tough to unschool though its totally doable. I really foresee community to be the way of the future especially for single parents. By coming together for common importance process becomes much easier and abundant. Having multiple kids around makes being a parent so easy because they just play all day. I have had kids in my home for weeks and almost never see them because they are out playing all day, just coming in for food here and there. Even as young as 4 years of age they are climbing on the roof, exploring outside and fully entertaining them selfs all day. Its only when a parent is trying to control, manipulate or navigate life for their children that it becomes difficult and taxing. A free child is naturally going to be happy and not needy. If a child has a truly free environment with another kid or two to play with it would be so easy for even a single parent to spend hours a day "working" while the children play and evolve their abilities.
5.Did you ever feel like you were missing out on anything?
A conscious capable being isnt really ever missing out on anything for this being knows that they can do anything they want whenever they want. A truly "Unschooled" child will be this way. Knowing that they are free and capable to engage reality as it becomes important.
6.Did you ever want to go to school? If so, did you express that to your parents, and how did they respond?
I did choose to go to high school for a few years. My parents of course allowed me to go for they would be not living true to the essence of unschooling if they were to tell me what I can or cant do with my own path.
Choosing this path did come from a place of disconnection. I basically spent 3 years numb, hardly alive, without inspiration or extraordinary capability. I refer to them as my "dark times" everything is in alignment and to even engage such a reality I had to be in alignment with it. I would not recommend it to anyone nor do I support the idea of school, however its important to be able to experience whatever it is we want to experience. If there is an interest in school then support it. It doesn't matter how long or short the endeavor is. It is very silly for a parent to say well if you choose school then you have to go for a whole year or for all of high school etc. To free children to go and then to not go if they dont want to anymore is key. Not just with school but in all decisions. If a child wants to play the guitar, for a parent to say welll if you start playing then you have to play X amount of hours or for X amount of time is very very silly.
7.Were there things you didn't learn that you wish you had?
No, because if I wanted to learn something I would. Growing up in an environment where there is nothing that we have to do or are supposed to do frees up al the energetic potential to engage what IS important. Existing from this place is very powerful and a common outcome is to be continually engaging and activating abilities as they become of interest. It is only when one is used to doing things they dont want or doesnt have true freedom that opportunity is not taken or passion engaged.
8.What do you do today for work and/or hobbies?
I am continually evolving. I have not worked in 10 years. I do not work because I do not believe in work. So really the way I sustain my life is actually through my "hobbies" which is really my passions. I fully choose to do what I love and love what I do. I facilitate sessions called Isness Of BuISness which is the process of finding that which is a true inspiration/passion/importance and activating the realities of sustaining life through it.
I love sound and am part of it often http://www.reverbnation.com/quinneaker/ so I have multiple CD's that are for sale or trade, this is a great contribution to my life's sustenance from an experience I am loving to be a part of anyways. I love sustainability so I created a non profit http://www.freedomlivingnow.org/ which is a full spectrum sustainability organization. We do sustainability consulting for individuals, families, communities, businesses, & governments on any level of sustainability. We do planning, organizing and building of sustainable realities.
I love pottery, leather working, cloth making and other such artistic aspects. These are also outlets for abundance in my life.
I am constantly evolving so not only are my abilities becoming more polished but new abilities are being realized regularly. Photography is a new passion and I have had many art shows with the photography so far. I really really love consulting & facilitating. I do sessions at conferences as well as doing individual private consulting. This really is a bread and butter for me as I am a sharer of possibility and is something I am doing every day from an unconditional source of abundant connection.
The reality is that as I align with what is truly important from an inspired source I become a genius/master of what I do. Because of this what I offer is in high demand as well as gratefully received. When these abilities are combined with the freedom to go and do what I want when I want I live the dream. For not only am I free but fully capable in all aspects of importance.
9.What (if any) disadvantages did you have to face since becoming an adult because of unschooling? What advantages have you had?
I dont see any disadvantages to a true unschooling environment. For a true unschooling environment is Self Designed Perfection. Unschooling can be very dysfunctional and unenjoyable if the parents are controlling or manipulating the life style. A parent must let go of all atachment and expectation of what their children do with their energy and how it manifests.
A true Self Designing experience has every benefit for not only is one present and conscious of what is important but is also used to activating that. Life is a process and "mistakes" are just as important as "success" for its only dysfunctional if one repeats mistakes or things that are not enjoyable. A conscious being does not do this because one knows that one is free to choose and would not naturally choose especially re choose something that does not feel good. Every thing that one does is an opportunity to learn & activate in life.
10.If you have kids, what form of education have you chosen for them and why?
I do not have children of blood as there are already so many children and parents out there who are not living free inspired lives. A passionate purpose of mine is to be a sharer of possibility. Sharing the possibility that we are all born pure potential and there really is much less we need to do and much more to let go of. I facilitate Self Designed Perfection every day. Children realize freedom and parents learn to let go and go with the flow.
If I were to have children of blood, I would allow them to choose for them selfs as they Self Design their lives in infinitely changing perfection.
11.Do/did you have any trouble with routines and schedules?
I have no problem with them if that is something that is important to me. I have no desire for routine or schedules. I love to wake up every morning when I feel like waking up. I love to lay in the sun, eat whenever and however much I want. I love to go to sleep when I want or stay up for days. I can work for 15 hours straight for days on end or relax at the ocean for days finding shells and swimming. By being aware I am able to focus every moment not because I have to or because I have committed to it but because it IS IMPORTANT NOW. When something is important motivation presents it self in abundance, inspiration flows and things get done without any pre fabricated system of time/space.
It is possible that an individual my enjoy/need or even thrive on schedules. Either because that is how the operate best or because they are not yet in a place of true now embrace. Either way it matters not as we are all where we are. It is important to be and process from where we are without comparison. There is nothing we have to do or are supposed to be. If schedules is something of benefit now then so be it. Just be aware that there are alternate possibilities, and be open to evolution at any time.
12.Did you ever resent you parents for unschooling you? For not doing what is "normal" compared to other kids?
Unschooling is not true and pure if parents are controlling or choosing for their children. A true unschooling family is going to allow children to choose for their lives even it means going to school. This also means that they are allowed to not go if they wish. To say you cant go to school because school sucks and I dont agree with it is control and authority. This does not exist in true enlightened unschooling. It is always ok to share an opinion or experience as long as you know that, that is NOT the way it is but your experience of it. Also its important to remember that children are far more connected and thus far more capable of you no matter how successful, educated or powerful you are.
13. What do you see as the pros/cons of your experience?
I have experienced pain. I have experienced suffering. I know what it is to not only not enjoy life but wish I was NOT alive. Hopelessness and Despair are the bottom of the spectrum of feelings. I have experienced it. Even this just is what it is. To blame, justify, hold onto, keep reliving is to put ones self in an eternal experience of hell. Past is past and only influences now from the remembrance or re experiencing of it now. I feel for people who have been tormented, controlled, manipulated, abused, used and so forth. Responsibility is the NEW compassion. For unless one is ready to take responsibility one will continue to be slave to torture. Our experience of the past can actually change from our perception and experience of now. As we realize NO ONE can make us feel any way, we ALLOW our selfs to feel/be manipulated/influenced. This is responsibility. This is empowerment. Every opportunity weather it feels good or bad is an opportunity to get clear on what is important and choose now. Rethink Everything every day. Knowing that anything is possible and it is we who filter the process of experience.
14. How well do you feel unschooling prepared you for adult life?
Ever since I was a child I have been treated as an "adult" meaning that I have been allowed to choose, to think and percieve from my unique view point. My room was my room, I did not have to clean it if I didnt want to. This doesnt mean that I would trash the rest of the house and my parents would clean it. It meant that MY LIFE is my life and only I can really empower that experience in a divine way. I have been exposed to all family situations in honesty and clarity. There was no hiding of information or hiding of realities of the world. Violence, drugs, sex and many other tabo realities were explored as I found out about them in clear conscious ways. I didnt grow up with rules about nudity or sexual exploration. I did not grow up with bed times or movie ratings. If I was interested in it that means I was ready to explore the reality. Taboos are old paradigm and only a limitation. Everything just is, it is an individuals filter that makes the experience so. This means that the word fuck is just a word as is ass bitch and many others. To say that is a BAD word or that is NOT allowed because its WRONG is ridiculous. A conscious person such as my self knows when the use of a word is not beneficial so it is not used. This does not mean that I do what I do because of others approvals it just means that I am aware of all situations and know that when something is going to cause problems or inconveniences for ME I choose to use an alternate modality. I could hurt and offend someone with a simple word that is considered ok to use and make someone laugh and feel good with a word that is considered not ok. This is because everything I do is not about what is being done but where I AM COMING from with what I do. Peoples insecurities are their own, I may honor them from time to time but by no means dictate my self by them. In fact sometimes I intentionally push peoples buttons so they can come to now awareness of them. For they are all limitations of the pure potential of now.
15. Would you change anything about your experience?
I believe in embrace of what has been as well as what is. I also believe in evolution from experience. This means that experience ALL experience is worthwhile enjoyable or not. The evolved way to deal with past is to let go, appreciate and embrace now potential. To wish the past to be changed is to disempower ones infinite potential in the now. Its all important and all part of it. Its all in alignment so as core operating systems change, experience as well as the world,,, CHANGE
16. What kinds of extra-curricular activities did you take part in?
Life was mostly an extra curricular activity. For what I did was not based on what I had to do with little bits of enjoyment from time to time. I played all day and what I did with that day changed from time to time. Many kids will have many similar activities and many will have different. ALso many will get into different activities in different time frames. I learned to read at 9 my brother didnt until much later. It doesn't matter at what TIME one learns or if a child even learns something at all. For if it is important it will be done.
I love to bring up the aspect of video games for there are so many people with insecurities about their children playing them. If a child enjoys the process while having lots of opportunity and exposure this is reason enough to engage in them. However there are many levels of benefit beyond this. Many video games these days are not only highly complex and intricate but also very fast paced required intense focus to hang. With the added element of online gaming these days there is a whole human interaction element that comes into play. Also since we are living in a technology influenced world video games provide a powerful download into the realms of technology. Its an opportunity to understand electronics, cultivate relationships with them & evolve WITH technology. Computers are so powerful these days and a huge part of almost all American life. By exploring the realms of video games one is intimately involved with computer technology. There is so much money and opportunity awaiting in the realms of technology and while its not important video games could be the launching portal into such a path.
I my self do not rely much on technology but appreciate it for what it is. Either way it matters not as a parent how you feel about it if it is important to the child for they are not you nor should they base their choices on what you agree with. Many parents are disconnected with technology thus put it down from time to time. This is just a sign of old paradigm and children are coming into being with the tools for the NEW paradigm.
17. Did you feel like you missed out on things like sports or prom?
If sports or prom are important there are plenty of ways to experience it without school. For me the underlining factor though is that if it is through school it is intertwined with dysfunction. Even if one loves prom or sports it would be so silly to sacrifice life for one lil aspect. There are so many ways to do what ones wants without school. In fact before I went to high school I was the star pitcher in the metroplex. I was almost untouchable. When I went to high school I very quickly lost touch with my abilities as I lost touch with my essence. For abilities and skills are really not so much from practice but connection. The power comes from connection and is lost without it. I lost almost all things great through the experience of high school. I do not blame school, for its all in alignment and I take full responsibility for my experience. Every moment is a new opportunity to Rethink Everything from a place of responsibility. With my death I have re birthed, from the ashes rise a Phoenix so powerful and full on that it is unfathomable without witness.
19. Did you go on to college? If so, how was the adjustment?
I did not go to college. Thankfully I realized that I was capable of anything & that I had a connection to pure source before the age of college. I have experienced more life and cultivated more abilities in a year than most do in a life time. Books, teachers, schools all have their place. I have realized potential that integrates as well as abolishes this.
When one knows one is capable of anything and one is free to adventure through the universe, one experiences much expansion.
Doing something for a piece of paper is old paradigm. This includes diplomas as well as money. What is hilarious is that college is commonly done not only for a piece of paper in the form of a degree but also for the acquisition of paper in the form of money! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH
20. How did you adjust to having to do thing that don't always make sense because an employer wants you to. Or did you end up working for yourself to avoid that?
I have always been aware since a young child what others feel and think. I have used it to my advantage many times. Thankfully I have not worked in 10 years. However when I did choose to work it was easy to meld into what was necessary. While it was not full on activated experience I was able to utilize it easily. I am very passionate about the reality living for my self based on what is true to me. To think/feel/do/say based on what someone else wants is slavery and sacrifice of the divine grander that life is designed to facilitate.
I had my first busIness at age 12 making really good money in the summers, I made all my own money for my whole childhood and because I had to be a certain age for many jobs it was actually to my benefit because I found other ways to make it. It wasn't until I was 16 that I got my first job, thankfully I was done with that paradigm by 17.
21. Were you the only in your area, or did you have a community/support locally?
When I was real young I was the only unschooler. As I got older, we found more and more of them. Thankfully my mother Barb Lundgren is an Unschool Pioneer one of polished arrows for self design. She has been running National Unschooling Conferences "Rethinking Everything" since I was about 10. I met lots of unschoolers through that. Also she organized some unschooling/homeschooling groups in the metroplex. What is interesting though is that there are so many levels of experience even in "unschooling" for it is not a formula or system. It is a level of awareness. My mother was one who received pure insight into the reality, many others come at it from a teaching or system, or bring in their own baggage. I have met many unschoolers who have rules, punishments, taboos and other limitations in their family experience. Just because one doesnt go to school doesnt really mean much. Unschooling in fact can even be worse than school if a parent is a controlling abusive being for the child will be immersed in it all day every day without the escape of school. For my mother and father they were thankful for school because it got them away from their families. I say again unschooling is not a system nor is it the answer. Awareness is the key, awareness and freedom is the answer, however that manifests. For in awareness we are clear on what is really going on instead of what is being said or projected. In freedom we are able to explore the infinite potential of the universe and engage it as it is right.
22. What things were you the most interested learning about/what things fascinated you the most?
A favorite story of mine is when I was 5 years old my mother came out side to find me up in the top of a tree. She was immediately fearful of the situation. She was scared because I was 5 and up in a tree she had not yet seen me display abilities for, she was scared of heights her self and was aware of her physical limitations to such activities. What is so amazing is not that I was 5 years old up in a tree fully capable, conscious and safe but that she had this intense fear compiled with her need to protect and keep safe her child and was able to let go. She realized that there was nothing she could do in benefit from a place of fear. She realized that the only thing she could do was turn around and go inside. She was able to do this even with her fear. For the reality was that I was not only fully capable of what I was doing but also fully aware of the situation. It is natural for a conscious being to have ones best interest in mind. My whole life I have been doing things that people think are dangerous. People saying wow you are brave or I cant believe you did that. For me though it is not bravery because I am fully aware of my ability. I have tested the waters little by little expanding and fine tuning my abilities to get to where I am.
23. At some point were there limitations to unschooling? If so, What educational method replaced it?
The only limitation to unschooling is a parents baggage in the form of beliefs, ideas, control, manipulation, etc etc. For a child is born pure potential is capable of whatever becomes to be important. A child will learn and realize the path. If a book a school or a place in the world presents it self as benefit the child will know. See the divine perfection of the truth of Self Designed Perfection is that whatever happens is the best way as it is not outside the self but within the self. If something isnt working then one makes a shift. Only an unconscious person would blame or stay stuck in what is.
Fear and doubt will not only come up from within as a parent but also from family, friends and society. If one cannot face fear doubt and all that comes with it one is not ready for this paradigm. This is ok as its all ok. Unknown is part of it. To know without knowing is key. To live in the moment trusting ones own inner guidance system is the new paradigm. Fear is ok, it is important, it is making choices BASED on fear that is the problem. For any choice based on fear wil bring forth realities in alignment with fear. This is not enjoyable. Being able to sit with it and let go to the perfection that is, is a wise alternative.
24. As an unschooler, do you feel that you have an unique relationship with your parents and/or siblings?
To live in a true unschooling family respect, honor and love are natural. I have been treated as an equal since I can remember. This is unfortunately Unique. For a parent to really unschool their kids in clarity and divine connection they must not only respect their kids as individuals but love and appreciate them not because of what they do but because they are who they are. It is also really important for a parent to love and respect them selfs. For without this the family life is bound to be messy. Parents are also from pure potential and though this connection has been lost it is still possible. Having a child is an opportunity to rethink life and to be witness to the unfolding of pure authentic expression. Parents are going to have baggage so whats important is that a parent is ready to carry it and not unload it or have their kids carry it with them. To then let go of it as is able with the help and guidance of a child.
A really high method for a parent who is dealing with baggage and the purity of a child is to say something like this "This is my experience, these are my feelings, but I know there are other possibilities, there are other methods of dealing with this" or to ask a child "what would you do in this situation or what can we do about this?" or if there is a conflict of interest, which WILL present it self. Be honest and say "this is how I feel this is what is important to me" If it has to do with your self then deal with it and process it dont make their life about yours. There is no need for a child to hit you if you dont enjoy it, there is no need to make meals for your kids every day if you dont enjoy it, but to enforce your opinions or beliefs on their process is abuse. To find a balance of having space to process and peace to be while providing unconditional freedom and love for the children is key. Interact with the children at least as equals if not wise masters. Be fully transparent and authentic. Lay it all on the table in a present way ready to rethink everything.
25. How do you react to authority?
Authority doesnt really exist in my life. Authority is old paradigm. If someone tried to control me I would laugh and continue to live.
26. What were your favourite things/places to learn from?
Every moment of every day is an opportunity to learn/expand/evolve/upgrade. A conscious empowered being knows this and thus does. Nature for me has been a true companion in this experience of sustainable harmonious abundance.
Some of my favorite stories are of nature. I shall share two.
In the springs of Texas the pecan trees put out leaves and pecans. These leaves protect the land and provide shade from the hot intense texas sun. The pecans provide much food to many birds, bugs and animals. So much so that most of them still are around come fall. As fall comes the leaves fall allowing the sun to come through and warm the ground in the colder winter months. They also provide warmth and shelter for birds, burrows and nests of many kinds. The pecans provide winter food for many bugs birds and animals. It is providing all of these benefits which are completely sustainable and earthen materials instead of plastic/wood/metal and many other various forms of materials humans use to build and cultivate their lives. Whatever leaves & pecans are left over decompose back into the soil to provide nutrients for the tree to do the same next circle of season. This is all provided plus all year around safety for birds and animals from other animals and homes for many bugs in the branches. This is all provided unconditionally abundantly and sustainably every year with only a few needs such as water, sun, soil, and air. These are all renewable abundant resources. This one tree provides all of this unconditionally and abundantly in a harmonized sustainable way. That is living that is life.
Another story I love is that of my garden and basil. In the spring I buy a packet of basil for 99cents. This packet has 100 seeds. I may get 50 plants out of the 100 seeds and each one of those plants will be producing harvestable basil within 1 month. I will be able to harvest these leaves daily for 6 months. At the end of the summer the basil puts out flowers which provide hundreds of seeds per plant. So with a 99cent investment I get bags and bags of basil, plus a 100 times more seeds than I started with. That is abundance and that is how life is designed to be. Tap into the essence of that and all is well.
27. How do you feel that you perservere when times are tough at work? How did you learn to cope? Do you feel that your coping skills could be better?
I do not believe in coping. I do not believe that it is a skill. To me coping is the essence of dysfunction. For to cope means to continually do something that one does not enjoy. It is funny because someone may think it very obvious to not cope with a stranger who sneaks into the house every night to rape you but it is very natural and normal to get up every morning 5 days a week to go somewhere you dont really want to, spend all day there and do it year after year.
I put this possibility forth to parents. If you cannot let go of coping and living a life that does not feel good, at least free your children to exist in the new paradigm. You dont have to but they are fully capable and will do it with ease provided the opportunity to really live in freedom.
28. What were the laws about home/unschooling like in your state? How did your family deal with them?
Texas has some of the mot lenient laws on homeschooling in the country. I really do not know about any of the laws for to me they matter not. A smart aware conscious empowered being will always find a way to live inspired full lives despite laws.
29. Did you attend college? Was it challenging to get in?
I did not attend college. It would be very easy to get in if that is what I wanted. All information in collage is outdated for technology and consciousness are evolving so fast that by the time it gets standardized, approved, put into text books and integrated into all the teachers curriculums it is WAY WAY far behind.
30. Has it ever caused you problems to not have a high school diploma?
No because everything I want to do is beyond such things as paper with writing on it. I did get my GED which was very easy. I took a 1 week GED study course for 2 hours a day. I passed the test on my first try. Even common employers realize capability when it is presented. Get an interview and I get the job diploma or not.
31. What misperceptions and myths would you like to dispel about unschooling?
It is not a system nor a formula. Unschooling is NOT the answer. Conscious awareness is the key and everyones life is relative. This is why rethinking and pushing the envelope is so important every day. Question all experts. We are all made of the same stuff, all completely different yet the same. Pure potential experiencing and expressing as is inspired.
One day there will be no such thing as unschooling or schooling, it will just be living.
I hold deep inspired space for the National Rethinking Everything conference with my mother the founder which takes place every year in September. Check out the web site athttp://www.rethinkingeverything.net
I have lots of inspired dialogue as well as sound compilation recordings available to listen to for free at http://www.reverbnation.com/quinneaker
Also find me on http://www.yournight.com/quinne for fun photos, videos blogs and more.
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