Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dear Lactivist:

I hope you enjoy this guest post by Michelle Nordblom.  If it confuses you, Google the definition of "SATIRE"  ;-)

Dear “lactivist,”

I am writing this letter because you are responsible for incorrect information and inflicting guilt on many people who don’t deserve it. You “lactivists” (and I am using air-quotes here) are making women like me look bad, even though there is nothing wrong with us or our choices.

You “lactivists” (remember, air-quotes) keep saying that babies won’t be healthy if we don’t breastfeed. First of all, I was not breastfed, and I turned out just fine. Okay, I may be a little overweight, but that is because of my thyroid condition—my doctor said that the medication to treat it is just as good as natural hormones. And my asthma has nothing to do with not being breastfed—my parents were heavy smokers while I was growing up, so I was on an inhaler as long as I can remember. My orthodontist said that I needed braces because I sucked my thumb—see, nothing to do with the bottle I drank from! I went to college and got all ‘A’s – I am certainly not lacking any IQ points from not breastfeeding. I may be at risk for diabetes, but again, not because of formula, since both my parents are diabetic already: it’s hereditary in my family. And you can’t prove that my nearsightedness or arthritis in my knees had anything to do with breastmilk whatsoever!

All those ridiculous claims about breastfeeding are just that: ridiculous. They say that it helps prevent breast cancer – that is a bunch of bull because my mother-in-law breastfed every one of her five kids and now she’s in remission. They say that it promotes bonding – well, I bonded with my babies just fine. It was later when they started getting rebellious that our relationships broke down, and had nothing to do with any supposed “nurturing” at the breast.

You “lactivists” (see my fingers?) are just making good moms feel bad when all we want is to be left alone to make our own choices and not be judged. If babies knew how pathetic all this whining about breastfeeding rights and hospital rates and birthing practices—don’t get me started about your efforts to get epidurals taken away from us too!—if they could talk they would say, “Mom! Give it up and give me the bottle!”

All I want to hear from you “lactivists” (don’t you hate that term now?) is a little concession that moms can choose not to breastfeed, babies can choose the bottle and that they will turn out just fine. Just like I did.


Just another mainstream “normal” Mom

About the author:  Michelle Hottya is a mom of three, writer, editor, doula, childbirth educator, board member of the Arizona Birth Network and proud, unapologetic (air-quotes here) "Lactivist."

You can visit her blog at: and her doula business at:


Tiffany said...

I love this! The sad thing is that I have heard the "I turned out fine" excuse from so many women (and men!) who clearly did have problems like this. The even crazier thing is that I hear "I didn't breastfeed my 4 year old and he turned out just fine". He's FOUR! Certainly not old enough to be classified as "just fine" at that age.

Amanda said...

Ha Ha! Funny. :-)

Seaofgin said...

Love it!

Christa said...

Ah the old, "Look I turned out okay" claim!
This was so funny!
I told some people a few weeks ago that just because something works, doesn't mean it's best.
Formula may work (and even be needed in those odd situations)... but it is far from the best available.

mystic_eye_cda said...

My favourite was "I formula fed and started cereal at 2 months with my first and he's *just fine*" however the previous post was this person complaining that the child had eczema so bad it bleeds and the child was obese.

But the fact that the first was *just fine* was why they were starting cereal at 2 months with their second, even though it was making the baby wake up more, cry more, etc.

mamapoekie said...


charlene said...

Ultimatelt the best thing for the baby is what nature intended, we create milk for one reason to feed our babies. Formula is an option for some women or situations where it is medically required like the mother dying in child birth, alot of the time I think that a mother choosing not to nurse is nothing but a lazy excuse. Nothing is as good for any baby as it's mother's milk. "Breast is Best"!!!

Catrina said...

I wasn't breastfed, my mom actually couldn't. She was one of the few who Medically couldn't... I, however did! But I know that hypoglycemia, GERD, and other major stomach conditions that i suffer with do come from that. Yep, I have Asthma too... I don't fault my mom, she did try. I've talked to many people, and for my mom it wasn't an excuse, it broke her heart...
I will say, my daughter did CHOOSE to bottle feed at 6 months, I tried like hell to continue breast feeding, she refused I still hate that she wouldn't continue on.... My counselor told me that she is a strong willed child, and it was her choice.

mystic_eye_cda said...


If we can bank enough blood for everyone that gets into an accident or has surgery then we can bank enough milk. Its not as difficult, it could be powdered or canned unlike blood, and it carries less diseases.

There's a group of mother's in England that take turns feeding (not pumping for) a baby whose mother died in childbirth because that was her biggest wish -to nurse her baby. There was also a dad in Sri Lanka which nursed a toddler after his wife died because she refused any other milk, there was also a newborn who took formula sadly.

If mother really can't nurse, because she's had a mastectomy, or is on medication that really is dangerous, or even just a nursing mom who just can't make enough because she was forced back to work to early or too many hours a day, or whatever we could easily provide banked milk

Anonymous said...

Does the author have a FB page? I liked her blog site, but I can't keep up on all the pages I like... I need them spoon fed to me through FB!

Kristy said...

:) Fun!

JustALittleBit_Me said...

Reply to Anonymous,

Hi! This is the "Dear Lactivist" author here. :) I am on Facebook, under my maiden name "Michelle Nordblom." I don't update my blog as often as I would like, but I do share my various written works through my profile. It's a personal page, not a fan page, so if you send me a friend request, please mention that you found me on Woman, Uncensored. Thanks!

Megatron said...

I just want to say that some babies will start to prefer bottle feeding because they become lazy. Its easier to get milk from a bottle than from the breast.
If you want to keep breastfeeding, don't offer a bottle!
If you have to offer a bottle because of work, make sure its expressed breastmilk, and not formula. =)

Bandora said...

I was a formula feed baby that "turned out just fine" but I am a strong lactivist and can't help but wonder how much better I would have turned out had I been breastfeed.

Post a Comment

Imagine this is a dinner party. Differences of opinion are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. If you're rude or abusive, your comment will be deleted. This is "Woman Uncensored" not "Random anonymous jackass that needs therapy Uncensored". Feel free to get your own blog and rant all you want there.

Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're going to be - cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation...

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner