According to Lisa from the Russ and Lisa Show, breastfeeding mothers need to take their hippie granola nonsense to the bathroom.  






Maybe you've heard about this piece of work online already, but for those who haven't, here is a transcript thanks to "Code Name: Mama" from the broadcast about seeing a mother discreetly nursing in a Chick-Fil-A, and how Lisa felt about it.  And here are a few excerpts if you're not up for reading the whole thing.  Try not to have a stroke.


"Could she not have done this in the car? I mean, she was on the way here, couldn’t she have, you know, while they were driving there, just breastfeed the baby?”


(Yeah, breastfeeding in a moving car is a brilliant idea  >.< )


"I hate it. I just don’t understand why in a public place you want to – and she was covered by the baby’s head, you know her shirt was partially – I just, to me it was sorta just in such bad taste"


(Even nursing covered isn't enough for Lisa.  I guess we should all just hole up in our homes until our children are off the boob.  Lisa, your face offends me.  Go home)


"You know you could have sat there for five or ten or however many minutes it takes to do so in the privacy of your vehicle. And then I thought also, it is 100 dadgum degrees."


(Who needs Chick-Fil-A when you can have fried baby?)


"Why is this not indecent exposure? And I don’t mean that she had her breast out and that you could really see it, but it was just I don’t know, it sorta made me, well I was gonna say lose my appetite but I won’t go that far."


(You, lose your appetite?  Of course not!)


"I think you should be discreet and stay at home"


(I think you should STFU and eat yer damn chicken!)


"And I think there should be indecency laws about that, because I don’t want to see it in a public place.  You know go to the ladies room, go somewhere, go to your car, pump your breastmilk, but I don’t want to see it in public, sorry."


(*headdesk* times infinity)


"It’s just bad manners as far as I’m concerned to hike your blouse up and have a baby’s head underneath, even if you’re not exposing yourself."


(I think it's bad manners to nosh on some fast food but expect an infant to be denied HEALTHY food)


"I don’t see anything wrong with going into a restroom if you don’t see a specific nursing area and sitting on the toilet seat. If you gotta do it I guess you gotta do it. But to me there’s just no excuse for not being prepared enough to have nursed your baby before you left, in an emergency situation having some prepared bottles or something ready to go. I just find it objectionable."


(I think I may have developed a stress-related eye twitch now.  Thanks Lisa)

(There was more, including Lisa’s opinion that even covering up the baby with a blanket it not “discreet” enough – she wants it to be completely out of her sight.  She went on and on, but I'm sure you get the idea)


During another show, she was getting call ins about it and lots of response on their facebook.  Lisa dug herself a deeper hole (emphasis mine): 


"If you decide to go to McDonalds today, pump yourself and take it with you, that's all I'm saying. Sit in the car. Have the air conditioning on. Listen to Rush Limbaugh. And breastfeed" 

"She was being very discreet. I saw nothing. Didn't even know she was doing so until after she had started, you know I just dont see why you would want to expose yourself to any sort of attention like that in public. There is a time and place for everything and quite frankly a fast food place is not the time for it. Just my opinion."

"An email from Holly: Lisa you're my hero. I 100% agree with you. Those kind of women are freakin nuts (Lisa laughs). They need to take their HIPPY GRANOLA NONSENSE TO THE BATHROOM (more laughing), cuz I don't want to see it. Stay strong Lisa, PS; Lactating Loonies is the funniest thing I've heard all year long on the air.

Holly, thank you, I really don't mean to be a name caller. But you know, when I've been taken on like I have been by this throng, this COVEN, you know, of WITCHES behavior, you know I just can't believe. Just because we disagree, you know"






*SIGHHHH*


Before you ask, YES, people are organizing peaceful nurse-ins in response to this.  Drop by their facebook page here for info.  You can also write a letter to the program director and even to Lisa herself and use this example if you wish.  The actual broadcasts of this show used to be online, but the station has taken them down.  I heard much of it live myself, and she truly is as awful as the quotes make her sound, and then some.  It is incredibly saddening that people like her have the public's ear.  I sincerely hope that no women were listening to her and were impacted in a way that would harm their current or future breastfeeding.  Imagine a new mom staying shut in her home for fear of bitches like Lisa, or maybe even never nursing at all!


Here is a piece from one of my readers, written as a satire like the original "Dear Lactivist":




"Dear Lactivists 2" by Michelle Hottya


Dear Lactivists,

I’m writing to you again because I don’t think you got the message from my last letter, when I tried to explain how my children are just fine for not being breastfed. Because this week, you had the audacity to attack me for my innocent and true remarks about breastfeeding in fast food establishments. 

Let me explain this again: I think breastfeeding where people can see, with their own eyes, that a baby is latched onto your breast and sucking on it, is disgusting and distasteful. You don’t have any shame, do you, Lactivists? Because I see you everywhere, with your babies peeking out at me from under your shirts, threatening with every twitch of their head to release, turn around and let your hanging breast show itself to the whole world. Not that I’ve ever seen that happen, of course – but it COULD.

Lactivists, do you think everyone in the world wants to be imagining what is going on under your shirt? Or even under that thin little blanket or cover-up? Even if I can’t see it, I can hear it. All that slurping, swallowing, humming and babbling is so distracting while I’m just trying to eat my fried chicken in peace. I can’t enjoy my meal if that little (and sometimes not little) child is so obviously enjoying his. GROSS!

And then when I said something about it, innocently just expressing my opinion and hoping to get the public to condemn your indiscreet behavior, you had the nerve to tell your friends! People who weren’t even in the restaurant at the time! How dare you! Now I have people sending me emails and calling me on the phone to say that I am uptight and mean to mothers and babies. I am not mean or uptight – I just think that if you’re going to breastfeed, you should do it at home or in your car on your way to the restaurant. Or just stay home all the time. If you really have to go out, you should just pump your breastmilk and put it in a bottle. 

That’s another thing – I don’t buy all this talk that it’s not so easy as pumping and carrying a bottle. I mean, what does that really take? Isn’t it just like milking a cow? Where you hook up the machine and out comes gallons and gallons? You say you can’t pump much but your baby gets enough? If you can’t pump it out, you must be doing something you’re not telling us, like feeding him straight butter, because look at those huge thighs he has. I fed my kids solids by three months – don’t try to make me believe you don’t give any food before six months! What a crock!

I’m starting to think this is a conspiracy by a bunch of crackpots that go around to fast-food restaurants, or museums, or swimming pools, or churches (for heaven’s sake!) to nurse babies out in the open just to get all the rest of polite society all riled up for your uncouth behavior. Then you all show up in droves to protest when someone calls you out on it. You Lactivists must all be a pack of liberals – I know this because every time there is an “issue,” all the lefties show up with signs and get themselves arrested just to get on the news. 

I feel really sorry for you all, I really do. You don’t realize what you’re teaching your children. Well, as long as we have the First Amendment, I guess you have as much right to say your opinion as I do mine, but don’t you dare show up with insults and name-calling because I will sic my minions on you and out-chant, out-protest, out-misspell and out-argue you with as many non-sequiturs and red herrings as we can devise. You’ll regret it, you will.

Sincerely,
Just Another Opinionated Radio-Host Mom