Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Dear Lisa: FU from WU (and "Dear Lactivists 2")

According to Lisa from the Russ and Lisa Show, breastfeeding mothers need to take their hippie granola nonsense to the bathroom.  

Maybe you've heard about this piece of work online already, but for those who haven't, here is a transcript thanks to "Code Name: Mama" from the broadcast about seeing a mother discreetly nursing in a Chick-Fil-A, and how Lisa felt about it.  And here are a few excerpts if you're not up for reading the whole thing.  Try not to have a stroke.

"Could she not have done this in the car? I mean, she was on the way here, couldn’t she have, you know, while they were driving there, just breastfeed the baby?”

(Yeah, breastfeeding in a moving car is a brilliant idea  >.< )

"I hate it. I just don’t understand why in a public place you want to – and she was covered by the baby’s head, you know her shirt was partially – I just, to me it was sorta just in such bad taste"

(Even nursing covered isn't enough for Lisa.  I guess we should all just hole up in our homes until our children are off the boob.  Lisa, your face offends me.  Go home)

"You know you could have sat there for five or ten or however many minutes it takes to do so in the privacy of your vehicle. And then I thought also, it is 100 dadgum degrees."

(Who needs Chick-Fil-A when you can have fried baby?)

"Why is this not indecent exposure? And I don’t mean that she had her breast out and that you could really see it, but it was just I don’t know, it sorta made me, well I was gonna say lose my appetite but I won’t go that far."

(You, lose your appetite?  Of course not!)

"I think you should be discreet and stay at home"

(I think you should STFU and eat yer damn chicken!)

"And I think there should be indecency laws about that, because I don’t want to see it in a public place.  You know go to the ladies room, go somewhere, go to your car, pump your breastmilk, but I don’t want to see it in public, sorry."

(*headdesk* times infinity)

"It’s just bad manners as far as I’m concerned to hike your blouse up and have a baby’s head underneath, even if you’re not exposing yourself."

(I think it's bad manners to nosh on some fast food but expect an infant to be denied HEALTHY food)

"I don’t see anything wrong with going into a restroom if you don’t see a specific nursing area and sitting on the toilet seat. If you gotta do it I guess you gotta do it. But to me there’s just no excuse for not being prepared enough to have nursed your baby before you left, in an emergency situation having some prepared bottles or something ready to go. I just find it objectionable."

(I think I may have developed a stress-related eye twitch now.  Thanks Lisa)

(There was more, including Lisa’s opinion that even covering up the baby with a blanket it not “discreet” enough – she wants it to be completely out of her sight.  She went on and on, but I'm sure you get the idea)

During another show, she was getting call ins about it and lots of response on their facebook.  Lisa dug herself a deeper hole (emphasis mine): 

"If you decide to go to McDonalds today, pump yourself and take it with you, that's all I'm saying. Sit in the car. Have the air conditioning on. Listen to Rush Limbaugh. And breastfeed" 

"She was being very discreet. I saw nothing. Didn't even know she was doing so until after she had started, you know I just dont see why you would want to expose yourself to any sort of attention like that in public. There is a time and place for everything and quite frankly a fast food place is not the time for it. Just my opinion."

"An email from Holly: Lisa you're my hero. I 100% agree with you. Those kind of women are freakin nuts (Lisa laughs). They need to take their HIPPY GRANOLA NONSENSE TO THE BATHROOM (more laughing), cuz I don't want to see it. Stay strong Lisa, PS; Lactating Loonies is the funniest thing I've heard all year long on the air.

Holly, thank you, I really don't mean to be a name caller. But you know, when I've been taken on like I have been by this throng, this COVEN, you know, of WITCHES behavior, you know I just can't believe. Just because we disagree, you know"


Before you ask, YES, people are organizing peaceful nurse-ins in response to this.  Drop by their facebook page here for info.  You can also write a letter to the program director and even to Lisa herself and use this example if you wish.  The actual broadcasts of this show used to be online, but the station has taken them down.  I heard much of it live myself, and she truly is as awful as the quotes make her sound, and then some.  It is incredibly saddening that people like her have the public's ear.  I sincerely hope that no women were listening to her and were impacted in a way that would harm their current or future breastfeeding.  Imagine a new mom staying shut in her home for fear of bitches like Lisa, or maybe even never nursing at all!

Here is a piece from one of my readers, written as a satire like the original "Dear Lactivist":

"Dear Lactivists 2" by Michelle Hottya

Dear Lactivists,

I’m writing to you again because I don’t think you got the message from my last letter, when I tried to explain how my children are just fine for not being breastfed. Because this week, you had the audacity to attack me for my innocent and true remarks about breastfeeding in fast food establishments. 

Let me explain this again: I think breastfeeding where people can see, with their own eyes, that a baby is latched onto your breast and sucking on it, is disgusting and distasteful. You don’t have any shame, do you, Lactivists? Because I see you everywhere, with your babies peeking out at me from under your shirts, threatening with every twitch of their head to release, turn around and let your hanging breast show itself to the whole world. Not that I’ve ever seen that happen, of course – but it COULD.

Lactivists, do you think everyone in the world wants to be imagining what is going on under your shirt? Or even under that thin little blanket or cover-up? Even if I can’t see it, I can hear it. All that slurping, swallowing, humming and babbling is so distracting while I’m just trying to eat my fried chicken in peace. I can’t enjoy my meal if that little (and sometimes not little) child is so obviously enjoying his. GROSS!

And then when I said something about it, innocently just expressing my opinion and hoping to get the public to condemn your indiscreet behavior, you had the nerve to tell your friends! People who weren’t even in the restaurant at the time! How dare you! Now I have people sending me emails and calling me on the phone to say that I am uptight and mean to mothers and babies. I am not mean or uptight – I just think that if you’re going to breastfeed, you should do it at home or in your car on your way to the restaurant. Or just stay home all the time. If you really have to go out, you should just pump your breastmilk and put it in a bottle. 

That’s another thing – I don’t buy all this talk that it’s not so easy as pumping and carrying a bottle. I mean, what does that really take? Isn’t it just like milking a cow? Where you hook up the machine and out comes gallons and gallons? You say you can’t pump much but your baby gets enough? If you can’t pump it out, you must be doing something you’re not telling us, like feeding him straight butter, because look at those huge thighs he has. I fed my kids solids by three months – don’t try to make me believe you don’t give any food before six months! What a crock!

I’m starting to think this is a conspiracy by a bunch of crackpots that go around to fast-food restaurants, or museums, or swimming pools, or churches (for heaven’s sake!) to nurse babies out in the open just to get all the rest of polite society all riled up for your uncouth behavior. Then you all show up in droves to protest when someone calls you out on it. You Lactivists must all be a pack of liberals – I know this because every time there is an “issue,” all the lefties show up with signs and get themselves arrested just to get on the news. 

I feel really sorry for you all, I really do. You don’t realize what you’re teaching your children. Well, as long as we have the First Amendment, I guess you have as much right to say your opinion as I do mine, but don’t you dare show up with insults and name-calling because I will sic my minions on you and out-chant, out-protest, out-misspell and out-argue you with as many non-sequiturs and red herrings as we can devise. You’ll regret it, you will.

Just Another Opinionated Radio-Host Mom  

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

How to be a Clean Hippie

Sometimes my husband affectionately refers to me as a "dirty hippie" (which is fine, since he's a dirty redneck), and I suppose that in comparison to the general population of our small town, I am indeed a bit crunchy.  Stick me next to a real "hippie" though, and they'll probably implode from the pain of seeing my giant suburban, Wal Mart clothes, and brightly dyed hair.  But hey, if I'm a "hippie" by some people's standards, I'll take it!  I suppose most of my cruchtasticness tends to be more about mothering than about my life in general, but I have gone more natural in personal and home care lately too.  I'm still learning, but I thought I'd throw out some of the ideas I've been using.  I should also add that I am a *poor* hippie, so these are all pretty cheap things to use, BONUS!  I hope that those of you who are more experienced will chime in with your suggestions too, and forgive me while I continue to cling tightly to my deodorant, dye, and make up :-P

Going "Poo-free": 

I never thought I'd be able to ditch shampoo and conditioner, but then I came across info to the contrary online.  Meh, why not try it, right?  If it sucked, I'd go back to my nasty poo-ish ways, no biggie.  First, I was a wimp and started with using a herbal shampoo bar and a vinegar rinse.  That was pretty great, but when it ran out, I went hardcore and started using just baking soda to wash and continued with the vinegar rinse.  My hair looks pretty dang fabulous if I do say so myself!  And no more of the nasty build-up that was one of the reasons for my desire to switch in the first place!  Google "going poo free" for info. It's easy and CHEAP.

Natural and Inexpensive Laundry:

You can make your own laundry soap for super duper cheap as well.  This site includes the recipe,and even breaks down the price difference between their method and store-bought Tide.  In addition, I put white vinegar in a Downy ball (can be found in the laundry aisle, also very cheap), so it releases during the rinse cycle.  This has eliminated our use of fabric softeners and dryer sheets.  White vinegar quite frankly ROCKS for a lot of things!  Check out the uses for it in laundry here.  You can also use diluted essential oil in a spray bottle, and spritz over your laundry when you're putting it into the dryer, or just put a bit on a cloth or your wool dryer balls and toss it in.

Simple and Natural Cleaning:

Cleaning has become so easy now!  For a while, I just used diluted white vinegar in a spray bottle on everything.  It definitely works well (and is cheap!  Can you tell I love things that are?), but now I used diluted lavender essential oil instead.  Works like a charm, smells lovely, and I don't worry about using chemicals around my kids now!  Essential oils are also great for when you need to disinfect.  Lemon, baking soda, and other essential oils can be used for cleaning too.

Cleaning with white vinegar
Cleaning with baking soda
Cleaning with essential oils
Cleaning with lemons

There are a lot more resources if you google around :-)

Natural Skin Care:

I recently got myself some virgin coconut oil, and omg... LOVE!  It is wonderful as a skin, scalp, and hair moisturizer.  It is solid in a jar, but I just fill my sink up with warm water and let it sit in there while I shower so it liquefies.  Then when I get out, I slather some on.  Extra awesome because I love the smell of coconut!  Do a bit of reading on it, and you'll find that it is really great for you.  I have even used it on my face despite my problem skin, and have actually seen improvement despite the usual thought that oily things are to be avoided on the face. When I feel like exfoliating my face or body, just a bit of sugar and honey does the trick.  Instead of body wash, I now use all natural hand made soaps that I find on Etsy.  I'm currently experimenting with lavender essential oil on my occasional acne.  I've read some good testimonials about it.  It should also be noted that other essential oils can NOT be used undiluted on the skin, but lavender can.

What do YOU do to be a clean hippie?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Inspiring Willing Participation.

(A guest post by B. Nikalee Rath)

About a year ago, for a few weeks, my (then) three year old refused to brush her teeth. Enter nightly power struggle. And of course we were right to try to force her to brush her teeth, right? Oral hygiene is essential. After a while though, it was not just exhausting, but, honestly, traumatizing. How could we expect our three year old to learn that her body is hers and hers alone, that noone else has the right to touch her without her permission, how can we expect to instill in her the confidence to say "no" to someone threatening, when we, her parents, responsible for protecting her, weren't even respecting her cries of no. So we stopped. For three days we said nothing to her about brushing her teeth. We said, "oh! Look Honey," to eachother, "it's time to brush our teeth," and my husband and I would head for our toothbrushes, then go lay down on the bed with the nightly stack of picture books. On the fourth day, she joined us, and with few exceptions, has every night since.

Between my children and children I've cared for, I've found myself in this type of situation many times. If I command they do something, they might do it. If I start doing it and ask them to join me they're a little more likely to. If I do it, willingly and joyfully, because I want it done, because I will feel better when it is done, and my children witness this, then they will not only join when requested, but will often just jump in, or ask me if they can or if I'd like them to. Sometimes all it takes is saying, "hey, let's do [insert task] together. I'll start." They don't feel as though they are my little servants, as though I am a tyrant dictating they do the undesirable work so that I will not have to suffer the drudgery of it. They don't feel like I'm valuing my own preferences and desires over theirs, and trying to force them to accommodate me. I might have to willingly, joyfully do it myself multiple times before they jump in, but generally, they will. I try to remember to be willing and cheerful about the tasks that are generally seen as "mine" too, as my attitude directly teaches them how they should approach "their" tasks. If I can't be willing and cheerful about it, and it's not a matter of extreme importance (life, death, or a dirty diaper), than I do something else until I can again appreciate that task. Most of the time, I don't see much point in grumbling about things that "have to" be done, like changing dirty diapers. Diaper time is belly button raspberries and toe tickling time. 

The younger your child is when you adopt this approach, the easier it will likely be to adjust. You must give your child ample opportunity to be social, to participate in accepted, valued activities that encourage development, even when it's not convenient, not the task you wanted them to do or they are not yet able to do it to the same extent you are. It is essential that you do not hover while they do these tasks, as it would likely give them the impression that you do not believe them capable of these things. Do something else, nearby, keeping busy and watching only peripherally if you feel supervision is necessary.

If your children are older, it may take longer for them to start willingly participating, unasked. Any change in discipline is going to require an adjustment period, (sometimes much longer than we'd like), dedication, and a belief that you are doing something beneficial for yourself, your children, and society in general. Children are often resistant to change. They may test you in unexpected ways. They may simply refuse your invitations to join in tasks for a long time, or they may ask "you're not going to make me do it?" They may ask, "what do I get if I help you." My response would be, "I can't make you do anything. It's your choice," then whistle my way through the task at hand; or for requests for rewards, a smile and "I'll take care of it," or should suffice. I don't know about you, but my head is always full of ideas and thoughts that could use more sorting, and what better than some repetitive, mundane, but useful, task to give me time to meditate on them?

This might all seem blissfully, ignorantly, optimistic. No, it isn't always easy, but neither is screaming, threatening, punishing, arguing, or bribing.

I suggest that you evaluate your own reactions to events, and attitude toward tasks. See if you can identify any of the same behaviors and attitudes that are frustrating you in your children. Ask why you resent or dislike the task at hand, why you are reluctant to do it. Could it be that you were never given the chance to do it just because you wanted to? That you were never given the opportunity to grow up in an environment of obvious unconditional love and acceptance, whether or not you did your chores. That you feel like these are things you have to do, rather than things you choose to do? Could it be that it was taught to you, probably unintentionally, that these are tasks that 'normal,' socially accepted people grumble about and try to avoid, pawn off on others, or do only because there is no way around it? Do you complain about your job or about all the work you do around the house, or about how hard it is to do anything with your crew of wild children, your uncooperative rebels? Do you then expect them to do differently, to go to "work" (school, tasks, etc) willingly, without complaint, and to be anything other than the whiny, wild, uncooperative rebels you've labeled them?

(B. Nikalee Rath) About me; I was born, raised and still reside near Anchorage, Alaska. I'm a married mother of two, and I am a birth and and postpartum doula. I have strong fondness for childrens books, yarn, and hula hoops. I believe if we want to change the world, we have to change ourselves. We have to be better parents. To be better parents, we have to be better people. We have to be the people we want our children to be

Friday, July 2, 2010

Giveaway WINNERS

WINNERS: I will be notifying the companies of who you are, so please keep an eye out in your email for a message from them so they can get your shipping address from you!  Be sure to check your spam box too, just in case it ends up there.

Please note that if you entered from a country that was specified to NOT be eligible for the giveaway you entered, another winner will be chosen. If you didn’t win, there will be more giveaways coming on Friday, so keep an eye out!  I also linked to each giver’s website below if you’re interested in their amazing stuff.

(any person/company wishing to donate for an up-coming Freebie Friday, please leave me a comment with your email and I’ll write you, or you can contact me via Facebook)

The winner is:  Alex,

Reusable sandwich bag from My Sunshine Designs
The winner is:  Kristin,

Custom soaker or shorties from Bitsy Knitsy
The winner is:  Misty, mistymichellesims at gmail dot com

Potty decals from IceeMudd
The winner is:  sharon,

Wool mattress pad from Natural Mystik Mama
The winner is:  Kelly,

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